Trendy homo: Last Tuesday was so much fun!
Boy toy: Last Tuesday is when I broke up with you.
Trendy homo: Yea, but nothing has really changed. I just don't have to say “I love you” anymore when we're having sex.
–56th & 9th
Trendy homo: Last Tuesday was so much fun!
Boy toy: Last Tuesday is when I broke up with you.
Trendy homo: Yea, but nothing has really changed. I just don't have to say “I love you” anymore when we're having sex.
–56th & 9th
Girl, after writing essay: You know how she asked us to write what we thought?
Boy: Yeah.
Girl: I put down that I needed to blow my nose.
–NYU
Mother on stoop: You need to get inside this house, now.
Fat 11-year old boy: Ten more minutes!
Mother: No, now.
Fat 11-year old boy (yelling): Ten! More! Minutes!
Mother: Don't make me call the cops!
–23rd & 4th Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Claire H.
Man: Where are you from?
Boy: (silence)
Man: If someone asks you that, you say you are from Earth.
Boy: Earth.
Man: And then if someone asks you where on Earth, you say, “a continent.”
–1 Train
Overheard by: fayfayryryr2h
Eight-year-old boy, carrying real but child-size golf clubs: I have two lawyers, don’t I daddy?
Father: Yes.
Eight-year-old friend: I have three.
–18th & Broadway
Little boy: No, I want them both! Mommy, you’re a loser!
Mommy: Are you calling Mommy a loser? Well, then you’re not getting
anything.
Little boy: No, I’m calling you a winner now! I love you!
–Toys “R” Us, Times Square
Overheard by: lindsey Lanpher
White boy #1: Am I the big, hairy guy?
White boy #2: No, you’re the guy with the assless chaps.
–During game of XBox 360 Guitar Hero, Apartment, Ave D
Big Kid: If that bitch ass didn’t tell on me I wouldn’t have gotten in trouble.
Little Kid: If you would have stayed out of trouble in the first place you wouldn’t have gotten in trouble.
–Bed-Stuy
Overheard by: richard blakeley
Dad: See, that’s why the bus has stopped. Look at all those people getting on the bus.
Little boy: Zombies! They’re all zombies! Millions and millions of zombies!
–M15 Bus
Loud angsty teen boy: My life is a tragedy and I’m only in act two!
–LaGuardia High School
Overheard by: He’s no Shakespeare…
Actor: I almost woke up dead this morning. But I don’t have an understudy.
–Gallery Players, Park Slope
Overheard by: Emily B.
Guy: …and grimace could play Mary Magdalene.
–Lincoln Center
Shake Shack patron: It was like Menopause: The musical.
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Queer on cell: Honey, if you thought Menopause was funny, you are gonna piss yo pants at The Vagina Monologues!
–Walgreens, Union Square
Flyer guy to girl with Rent shirt: Why you gonna go see Rent? Have you seen it yet? The gay guy dies. Woo!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Minerva
Stagehand: Julliard is a school. It’s not like Spamalot.
–Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Emily B.
