Girl: I don’t want vegetarian pate, it’s too bougie.
Boyfriend: You live in Park Slope.
Stranger: True that!
–7th Ave& 11th St, Park Slope
Overheard by: Erin Sparling
Girl: I don’t want vegetarian pate, it’s too bougie.
Boyfriend: You live in Park Slope.
Stranger: True that!
–7th Ave& 11th St, Park Slope
Overheard by: Erin Sparling
Guy, to girl: Smart girls are never pretty. That’s why you’re a dumbass.
–Union Turnpike station platform
Overheard by: Erna
Hobo: Ain’t no good here, only cheap. Cheap, cheap, and very cheap. And very beautiful.
–L train, Bedford Ave station
Hysterical Man: The bridge is swinging! Everybody get off the bridge!
Reasonable Man: It’s supposed to swing! This is a suspension bridge!
–Brooklyn Bridge
Little kid: What does this say? What does this say?
Nanny holding a card: It says right here, ‘Children must behave in here.’
Little kid: Oh man, this means that we have to behave now!
–Tea Lounge, Boerum Hill
Professor: And what was the issue in this case?
Law student: The company was displaying won-ton negligence.
Professor: Okay, good, but some people pronounce it ‘wanton.’
–Brooklyn Law School
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the delay. There is a problem with a signal and there are trains in front of us. The good news is, there's a bar car!
–Metro North
Overheard by: Anna
Obese lady buying pork chops to obese friend: I be cutting down on on soda.
–Troy Ave & Park Place
Exasperated woman: And he was drinking Jack Daniels before he even got to my place…
–3rd & 6th
Overheard by: j
Female suit on cell: Well, what do you expect? It was green Gatorade and grain alcohol!
–Broadway & 54th St
Overheard by: Loren
Bag lady to another: Listen, Alice, if you don't want to lose your leg, you gotta drink water, they'll take your legs otherwise.
–42nd St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Robin
Frantic woman on cell: Oh my god! There is no soy milk anywhere in this city! (sprints out of Starbucks)
–Starbucks, Times Square
Overheard by: ellie
Tough guy outside bar with friends: So I like apple juice. What the fuck?
–East Village
Waitress's friend: You doin' somethin' different with your hair? You got a glow about you.
Waitress, whispering but audible by everyone around: I'm on the rag, yo!
–Garden Grill, Graham Ave
Overheard by: digamma
Boy to girl: Does it look like my ass is eating my pants?
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Julie
Eight-year old girl: It’s not me, it’s the pants! It’s the pants!
–81st & Roosevelt Ave
Overheard by: Jobee
Woman on cell: No. No. Absolutely not. Look, would you please put some pants on?
–8th & Broadway
Cop to his cop friends: My buns don’t look good in these pants. But hey, what can you do? It’s part of the uniform.
–Times Square Shuttle Station
Overheard by: Heather
Girl on cell: Do you have to shit? Oh… So go in your pants!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Shira
Incredulous thug to friend: You drop your pants to hop the train?
–W. Houston & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Jon A.
