Wednesdays Get a Headache Without Their One-Liners

Barista: Basically someone bought a coffee Friday, came back Monday and said it's cold. Um, yeah. It's three days later.

–Starbucks, Canal & Broadway

Overheard by: Kaitlen

Woman, walking out of Starbucks empty-handed: Well, at least now we know where we can get coffee. You know, in the morning?

–Starbucks, Times Square

Overheard by: David Landfair

NYU student to coffee cart man: Can I get a venti-large coffee?

–Greene St & Washington Place, The Village

Overheard by: Jane

Male coworker: I was just going to turn water into coffee, like they do in the bible.

–Broadway

Hyper five-year-old to mom: Hey look, Starbucks. Let's go to Starbucks. Starbucks! Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee!

–Astor Place

Overheard by: Juxie

Mother to hysterical baby in stroller: What do you want, huh? Coffee and a cigarette?

–Outside Bloomingdale's

Overheard by: kteezy

Posted on April 15, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Baristas, Books & Writing, Clerks, Coffee, Compare/Contrast, Jesus, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, One-liners, Should've Used a Condom, Smoking, Soho, Starbucks, Store, Street, Students, The Village, Time, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Also, I Kinda Need to Rob You Now

Deli counter woman calling name on sandwich ticket: Wave bandanna? (no response) Wave bandanna?
Young white guy: Oh yeah, that's me. I put down my rap name.

–Balducci's, 8th Ave & 14th St

Overheard by: Margo

Posted on April 12, 2009
Clerks, Delis, Music, Nicknames & name calling, The Village, Wiggers

Why'd That Kid Just Call You “Grandpa”?

Token booth man to teen: So you have no book bag, no ID, and no money? What grade are you in?
Teen: Eighth grade.
Token booth man: So why don't you have your books?
Teen: I spent the night at my girlfriend's.
Token booth man: So you have no book bag, no ID, no money, you're in eihgth grade,and you spent the night at your girlfriend's?

–Subway, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Mom in transit

Posted on April 12, 2009
Books & Writing, Brooklyn, Clerks, Money & Class, Questions, School and studying, Stupidity, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Teens

Dennis the Menace Grew Up Pretty Much As Expected

MTA worker: Buy a ticket.
Guy banging on turnstile: Nooooo.
MTA worker: Buy a ticket.
Guy while diving under turnstile: No! Fuck you!

–SoHo

Posted on April 10, 2009
Clerks, Crime and Punishment, Guys, Insults, Public Transportation, Soho

Poor Hillary's Become Conditioned to Expect That Response

Starbucks employee to disheveled looking woman: Because it is a federal offense, ma'am.
Disheveled looking woman: Did you just call me a bitch?
Starbucks employee: No, I said it is a federal offense.
Disheveled looking woman: No, you called me a bitch.

–Starbucks

Overheard by: Valley

Posted on April 9, 2009
Clerks, Crime and Punishment, Insults, Questions, Starbucks, Women

Now Playing: Wednesday One-Liners

Moviegoer: Come on, I wanna see this potentially shitty movie!

–AMC Loews, 68th & Broadway

Overheard by: Robert Gleyberman

Guy on phone: I'm not trying to have sex with you, I just really want to see The Dark Knight.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Ross

Movie theater employee: I don't go to the movies. I watch them on the internet.

–AMC Loews, Lincoln Square

Overheard by: Holly

Guy on cell: Okay, love you, bye… Oh, and the reason she says "Foxy, you better work it out!" is because that's the name of her character in the movie.

–62nd & Broadway

Overheard by: Richard

Nerdy film major: Silent Night, Deadly Night II is the worst movie ever. It's so bad it's amazing. There's something cathartic about watching it; you leave thinking, "there is a god!"

–NYU Dining Hall

Guy leaving The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: You have to be some kind of anti-Christ to write a movie that retarded.

–AMC Loews, 68th & Broadway

Overheard by: Mark Nilges

Girl, as credits roll at the end of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: Wow…they both lived way too long.

–AMC Loews, 68th & Broadway

Posted on April 8, 2009
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Clerks, Compare/Contrast, Film, Girls, God, Guys, Insults, Internet, Movie Theaters, Movies, Nerds, NYU, On Cell, One-liners, Religion, Retardation, Sex, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Come Talk to Me When You Master Cooking and Central Heating

Old British gentleman: The next train is when?
MTA employee in booth: 11:45.
Old British gentleman: This entire nation is incompetent!

–Grand Central Terminal

Posted on April 6, 2009
Brits, Clerks, Grand Central, Old People, Public Transportation, Questions

Every Day I Test Myself, and Every Day I Fail.

Subway operator: This downtown 1 train will not be stopping at 50th Street. I repeat, will not be stopping at 50th Street.
(a minute passes)
Subway operator: We will not be stopping at 50th Street. There is a stalled train there. We will be going straight to 42nd without stopping at 50th.
(another minute goes by)
Subway operator: This is a downtown 1 train, next stop will be 50th. Shit! 42nd.

–1 Train