Tragically Hip Wednesday One-Liners

Hipster girl to friend: I told her it was the wrong kind of plaid. Not all flannels are equal.

–Bowery & Bleecker

Overheard by: but lumberjacks are supposed to be burly men!

Hipster to another: And I was like "Do you want some nail polish for that camel toe?"

–2nd Ave

Overheard by: Shan

Hipster guy singing to self in country twang: Whennnn am I gonna get me sommmme Ugg boooooots?

–4th Ave & 13th St

Hipster guy in eyeliner and mascara: I was being facetious… I would not wear leggings.

–Jamba Juice, 13th St & University

Overheard by: helenathegreat

Hipster girl screaming on cell: I want you to want me to want to touch you!

–Columbus Circle

Posted on July 7, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Bars & Clubs, Body Parts, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Hipsters, Offers and requests, On Cell, One-liners, Questions, Sex, Shoes, Singing, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

…As You Should've Read in My Dossier Before You Agreed to Date Me.

Fat suit during movie, about fur coat on screen: Do you want one of those?
Girl half his age: No, I don't really like fur.

–Regal Cinema 14

Overheard by: Mark

Posted on July 4, 2010
Clothing, Fat People, Girls, Gripes, Movie Theaters, Movies, Offers and requests, Suits

Wednesday One-Liners: Large and in Charge

Exhausted woman with backpack: Why do I have to be so fat?

–42nd St

Gossip Girl clone to another: Oh my god! Can you even imagine being obese in this weather?

–Lafayette & Spring

Skinny gangster white boy: Yo, dude, are we hanging out with those fat chicks?

–96th St & Lexington

Overheard by: great standards

Chubby girl yelling on cell: Yeah, and her bridesmaid dress totally accentuates my back fat–as if I didn't have enough problems!

–47th & 3rd

Posted on June 23, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Clothing, Dating, Diet/Weight, Gangstas, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Physical appearance, Questions, Skinny People, Soho, Street, Stupidity, Upper East Side, Weather, Wednesday One-Liners, Wiggers, Women

Which Explains Sarah Jessica Parker.

Girl: Oh, lets go to Prada!
Guy: I hate Prada! Prada means not eating for a month!

–Outside Prada Store, SoHo

Posted on June 12, 2010
Clothing, Diet/Weight, Food, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Shopping, Soho, Store

We're a Community Of People, Really.

Guy dressed only in tighty whiteys to bartender: I know I'm only wearing underwear, but can you please turn up the air conditioning?
Bartender: Yeah.
Guy dressed only in tighty whiteys: I'm speaking on behalf of several people. Well, other people who might come in here in their underwear.

–The Ritz, Hell's Kitchen

Posted on June 11, 2010
Bars & Clubs, Bartenders, Clothing, Customers, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, Physical appearance

Hey, Worked for Molly Ringwald.

Girl in truly ridiculous dress: I am a strong, independent woman! I don't need a man in my life!
Friend: Amy*, you're wearing pink and ruffles.

–Lincoln Center

Posted on June 6, 2010
Clothing, Friends, Gender issues, Girls, Physical appearance, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

You've Never Been to the Village on a Saturday Night?

JAP #1: It's like seeing a midget in drag.
JAP #2: Oh, I've always wanted to see that.

–35th St & Lexington

Posted on June 6, 2010
Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Height, JAPs, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Physical appearance, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Wednesday One-Liners Love You, Man

Drunk chick: Who wants a bite of my freak salad? Whoo!

–Hudson & W 11th

Very drunk male hipster: Whass the problem? Roofies make you goofy!

–Stanton & Allen

Wasted college girl: Guys, let's go get more drunk! I wanna get laid! (to another girl on cell) Tell your boyfriend I wanna get laid!

–115th & Broadway

Overheard by: Oh, dear.

Man of questionable sobriety: She tore off my shirt with her teeth, and then covered my chest in Jameson, licked it off, and then humped my face until I fell off the swing.

–Red Restaurant, South Street Seaport

Posted on June 2, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Clothing, Columbia University, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Food, Hipsters, Lower East Side, On Cell, One-liners, Promiscuity, Restaurants & Cafes, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Sorority Girls, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, West Village, Wishes & desires

She Knows Better Than That

Male #1: That skank from accounting has a nice outfit on today.
Male #2: Does she have a bag over her head?

–53rd St & Park Ave

Posted on June 1, 2010
Clothing, Comebacks, Guys, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Physical appearance

Wednesday Does One-Liners Like It's His Job

Woman on cell: Ugh, no I can't. I've been at work, I'm totally wasted.

–Outside Penn Station

Whiny American Apparel employee to new recruit: You're not allowed to chew gum on the floor, you can't wear UGGs to work… You have to be 100% American Apparel.

–Downtown F Train

Overheard by: Kaitlen

Subway musician to dude walking by with guitar on his back: Get a real job! (pause) I always wanted to say that to someone.

–S Train

Female suit to make suit: So, is your work still sticky like mine?

–Port Authority

Overheard by: quiet commuter

Posted on May 12, 2010
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Clothing, Comebacks, Compare/Contrast, Coworkers, Food, Jobs & Careers, Musicians, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Penn Station, Port Authority, Strangers, Suits, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

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