Gay guy, looking at girl dressed in princess costume: Look at that little girl. She looks so cute!
Gay friend: Yeah, she's really adorable.
Gay guy: If I had a daughter she would dress like that every day. She would wear that to school. (pause, looks at father) I would totally fuck her father.
–17th St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: Julie
Girl in sweatpants: I kind of want someone to pants me. Just so that I can show off my ass without being a whore.
–High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Fabulous gay man to another: Ohmigod! I'm totally having a Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants moment right now."
–9th Ave & 47th St
Teenage boy, screaming: I can't wait to get my pants off!
–Broadway & 52nd St
Man to seven-year-old daughter: Hold onto the rail so you don't fall. Cause if you do fall, we're all going to laugh. We're going to laugh really hard. We're going to laugh so hard we will shit our pants.
–N Train
20-something well-dressed girl to another: He comes home saying he won all this money, and falls asleep with his hands in his pants, and that's the end of the story.
–Bedford Ave & 7th
Mother in dress, legs uncrossed, to daughter in dress, legs also uncrossed: Cross your legs! Don't you know that if you wear a dress or a skirt, you're supposed to cross your legs?
Daughter: That's why I wear jeans!
–B61 Bus
Asian girl: Your hair was so soft when you were a baby, I couldn't put a shirt on you because it would slip off.
Little sister: Haha! (pause) I don't get it.
–R Train
Disheveled gentleman: Hey, man, can you spare some change? I need a bottle of vodka, a bag of marijuana, and a prostitute. I'm desperate!
–East Village
Overheard by: Matty Mac
Toothless lady on street corner to friend: I ain't never been to jail, I ain't never fucked nobody for money!
–Brooklyn
Older Guido to young hipster: And then you got a fuckin' hooker on your hand, what are you going to to do?
–Mulberry
Overheard by: nina
Clean-cut queer: So she says "where are you going after this?" and I say "I think I'm just going to go back to the hotel and get some sleep" and she says "do you want company?" and I say "well, you're not really my type" and she says "I've got lots of friends… What's your type?" and I say "boys." And she's all, "oh, well, that's nice!" And then she leaves pretty quickly. And my friend says "who was that? Do you know her?" and I say, "no, she's just some very, very, very friendly girl. In a gold lamé cocktail dress. On a Tuesday night."
–6 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Guy on cell: I wish I was in Florida–the hookers down there owe me 8 bucks and a beer!
–Astoria
Chubby girl: Hi, your top is gorgeous! Where'd you get it?
Skinny girl: Um, Greece.
Chubby girl: Well, aren't you special?
–Union Square
Hipster girl to friend: I told her it was the wrong kind of plaid. Not all flannels are equal.
–Bowery & Bleecker
Overheard by: but lumberjacks are supposed to be burly men!
Hipster to another: And I was like "Do you want some nail polish for that camel toe?"
–2nd Ave
Overheard by: Shan
Hipster guy singing to self in country twang: Whennnn am I gonna get me sommmme Ugg boooooots?
–4th Ave & 13th St
Hipster guy in eyeliner and mascara: I was being facetious… I would not wear leggings.
–Jamba Juice, 13th St & University
Overheard by: helenathegreat
Hipster girl screaming on cell: I want you to want me to want to touch you!
–Columbus Circle
Fat suit during movie, about fur coat on screen: Do you want one of those?
Girl half his age: No, I don't really like fur.
–Regal Cinema 14
Overheard by: Mark
Exhausted woman with backpack: Why do I have to be so fat?
–42nd St
Gossip Girl clone to another: Oh my god! Can you even imagine being obese in this weather?
–Lafayette & Spring
Skinny gangster white boy: Yo, dude, are we hanging out with those fat chicks?
–96th St & Lexington
Overheard by: great standards
Chubby girl yelling on cell: Yeah, and her bridesmaid dress totally accentuates my back fat–as if I didn't have enough problems!
–47th & 3rd
Girl: Oh, lets go to Prada!
Guy: I hate Prada! Prada means not eating for a month!
–Outside Prada Store, SoHo
