Smell My Wednesday One-Liners! Smell Them!

Guy to friend: Remember that chick I told you about who told me that I could smell her cum?

–City Hall New York Sports Club

Latina girl on cell: Didn't Nick get you that phone? (pause) No, not really… (pause) Cause I'm spoiled. (pause) That's not true, I spoil you, boy… I got you that perfume. It smells real nice, actually not that nice. It smells like granny… It smells like abuelita!

–Union Square

Teeny Asian lady on cell, screaming at the top of her lungs: Sniff it! Sniff it! Sniff it! Sniff it! Sniff it! Sniff it!

–23rd St

Overheard by: Ladle

20-something hipster girl to friend, after running to catch the subway: I think this is the r… It smells like the r.

–R Train

20-something girl to friend: You smell good, but I smell better.

–Bond St

Posted on April 21, 2010
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Always Bringing it Back to You!, Asians, Cell Phone, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Cum, Family Ties, Friends, Gifts, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Latinos, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Next: Natural-Look Makeup

Pretty girl #1, after hugging pretty girl #2: Oh, you smell good! What is that?
Pretty girl #2: It's the best fragrance ever! It's called “soap and water”!

–Borough of Manhattan Community College

Overheard by: i am sooooo using this!

Posted on April 18, 2010
Cleanliness, College, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Girls, Health and Hygiene

Here's Barbra Streisand to Explain

Girl #1: Can you hear music up your nose?
Girl #2: That is the most amazing thing you have ever said.

–Bard High School

Overheard by: Sunny

Posted on April 11, 2010
Body Parts, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Fast Times at New York High, Girls, Questions

Crazy Just Smells Different

Friend #1: Are you sure she was drunk? Because she is not the most normal person when she is sober.
Friend #2: She was drunk, I know the difference.
Friend #1: Wow! That takes talent.

–238th & Broadway

Overheard by: Emm

Posted on April 10, 2010
Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Drinking & Drunk People, Friends, The Bronx

Chairman Mao: Dammit!

Woman #1: I like your outfit. It would have been great in red.
Woman #2: But you know, red is so stereotyped!
Woman #1: For what?
Woman #2: For drag queens.

–N Train

Posted on April 9, 2010
Clothing, Colors, Compliments, On the Subway, Sexuality, Women

It's Not Harassment If I Try to Sell You Something

Comedy guy: Are you girls Danish?
Girls: No.
Comedy guy: That's okay! You're still hot like they were!

–43rd St & Broadway

Posted on March 26, 2010
Beauty, Compliments, Foreigners, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Vendors & Street Performers

Is It Wrong That I Think You're Hot?

Asian undergrad #1: You know that “boyfriend” jacket you tried on looked really good on you.
Asian undergrad #2: Yeah… That's because I have no tits.
Asian undergrad #1: Yeah, you're right.

–NYU Palladium Gym

Overheard by: Nel

Posted on March 11, 2010
Asians, Clothing, Compliments, Gyms, NYU, Physical appearance, Rack, Students

And No Pants

Man to girlfriend: You should be a model for Playboy hoodie edition.
Girlfriend: Really?
Man: Yeah, you look good in hoodies.

–6th Ave & 11th St

Posted on February 27, 2010
Beauty, Clothing, Compliments, Couples, Jobs & Careers, Physical appearance, Pop Culture, The Village

The Final Solution to Wednesday One-Liners

College girl to friend: So I was looking through all my pictures… You know, all my pictures of Nazis.

–Central Park

Overheard by: ruegah

NYU film student to another, looking at picture of French actor Benoit Magimel: He's hot in that Hitler Youth kind of way.

–NYU Tisch Building

Guy to friend: Killing zombies is the new killing Nazis.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Preston

Random hipster: Sometimes I think Hitler was right.

–Music Hall of Williamsburg

Borders employee: I'm sorry, ma'am, we do have books about Hitler, but they're all for children.

–Borders

Posted on February 17, 2010
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Apologies, Beauty, Books & Writing, Central Park, Clerks, Compliments, Friends, Guys, Hipsters, Hitler/Nazis, Kids, KKK, Murder, NYU, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Physical appearance, Pictures, Store, Students, Stupidity, Theater, Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Williamsburg

On the Plus Side, People Also Probably Think You Have a Big Penis.

College girl: You're nice. Your personality definitely doesn't match your height.
Tall college guy: What?
College girl: Like, you're really cheerful and fun, you act different than people think you would, because you're so tall.
Tall college guy: How do I look like I would act?
College girl, thinking for a moment: Ummm, kind of like a douchebag.
Tall college guy: I look like a douchebag. Thanks.

–Chipotle, 110th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Shannon

Posted on February 9, 2010
Compliments, Insults, Physical appearance, Psychology, Restaurants & Cafes, Students, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Compliments