Dopey guy: She looks like that chick on the Wendy's commercials.
Less dopey guy: Um…you mean…Wendy?
–Drop Off Service, 13th & Ave A
Headline by: aileen
Runners-Up:
· “…AKA Pippi Longstocking’s Doppelgänger” – Deanna
· “No, Carrot Top” – johnnyb
· “She Has a NAME?!?!” – sizzle
· “Until Pippi Longstocking Wins Her Lawsuit, Yes” – Cat
Crackhead #1: At the time I was going to school to become a peer educator…
Crackhead #2: Uh-huh.
–103rd St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Jonesy
Woman: One time this guy punched me…but it was alright, cause I was on coke.
–2 Train
Overheard by: Laura Grossman
Female hipster on cell: I'm coked up and all alone, Harvey, how do you expect me to feel?
–Humboldt & Ainslie, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Joseph Hernandez
Girl on cell: I haven't done coke in like a week. It's been a rough week.
–Upper East Side
Hot 20-something tourist girl to friend: Pfft, the Meatpacking District. That's false advertising…I got no meat packed in me last night. All I did was steal that bag of cocaine from those guys.
–Broadway & Wooster
Overheard by: ClassyGal
Female 20-something on phone: Yeah, he realized it was too late when he couldn't tell the difference between the piles of sugar, the piles of flour, and the piles of cocaine.
–Central Park
Drug dealer #1 (whispering): Smoke, smoke, smoke.
(passerby keeps walking)
Drug dealer #2 (yelling at drug dealer #1): C'mon, you gotta step your game up! Get that shit out there!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: willandbeyond
Girl: If you want to get a feel for coke, chop up an aspirin and snort it up your nose. That should do it.
–Joseph’s on 49th Street
Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Gay man #1: You should stop doing coke and just do ecstasy, because the coke makes you a shady bitch.
Gay man #2: Are you on coke right now?
–East Village
Overheard by: Tibbie X
Junkie #1: He’s a millionaire…just gives his money away. He’s a Jew bastard. But he writes his check like a chicken scratch.
Junkie #2: Oh, they can’t write anyway.
–Meth clinic, 161st Street
20-something girl to much older date: So do you smoke weed?
Guy: Not so much anymore.
20-something girl: Me either… Not much… I mean, it's been a long time… But I do know this awesome guy on St. Mark's who gives me cheap pipes and has great shit. He always has something new for me.
Guy, after pause: Actually, it sounds like you smoke a lot.
20-something girl, after embarrassed pause: Well… I buy a lot of gifts.
–G Train
Glue sniffer #1: You wanna hear something fucked up?
Glue sniffer #2: Yeah.
Glue sniffer #1: Do you wanna know how she died? She tripped over her dog.
–F Train
Overheard by: 310 retuns to 212
NYU professor: Stay away from drugs. (pause) Unless they're recreational and you know what you're doing!
–NYU Silver Center
Overheard by: liz
Tall kid: I don't like opiates in general. I'm for up, not down. At any rate, I have a fucking honky horn!
–Hunter College High School
Guy: I think I need to do more shrooms and acid.
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: Jordan
Girl to friend: You should try something natural, like shrooms.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Julie
Druggie clerk on cell: I mean: come on, man! That's my fucking apartment. If he wants to smoke weed or shoot up in my apartment, it's like, whatever. But crack? No. That's my fucking home. Seriously.
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Emmy
