Wednesday One-Liners Are Molding Young Minds

English teacher: Class, I’d like you to remember where the line is. It is always moving, and it is determined by me.

–Bronx Science

Overheard by: HJWC

English teacher: I rose up into the air and flew out the window… You didn’t notice this?

–Hunter College High

Overheard by: stupid english student

Old teacher: Okay, there are three rules in this classroom, and I am completely serious. Number one, no swearing. Number two, no scuffles. Number three, no sex until 3:20 when you can do what you want.

–Grace Church School

Teacher: I’m a huge fan of bathroom stall graffiti! My favorite from this school is in the third floor bathroom: ‘If you can read this, you are pooping.’

–Bard High School Early College

Teacher to another: You are a hemorrhoid in my ass.

–Brooklyn Tech

Overheard by: Julie

Health teacher: Drug abuse is a symptom of suicide.

–Hunter College High

English teacher: The next scene is about sex, so pay attention. You might learn something.

–Brooklyn Tech

Overheard by: Julie

Posted on November 2, 2017
Advice, Ass, Bronx Science, Classroom, College, Default, Drugs, Education, Etiquette, Hunter, Illness, Insults, Offers and requests, Old People, Poop, Questions, School, School and studying, Sex, Stupidity, Suicide, Teachers/Professors, Time, Weirdness, Words

We’ve Found Her Running Mate

Bike guy: Hey girl, I really like your red hair
Chick: Yeah, me too. That’s why I dye it. But I don’t like it nearly as much as I like not being interrupted when I am tryng to talk to someone.

–St. Marks & 3rd

Overheard by: ~dana

Posted on June 22, 2017
Biotechs, Etiquette, Hair, Union Square and East Village

Gravitional Pull is an Involuntary Process

Guy #1: Dude, I hate fat chicks that are stuck up.
Guy #2: Yeah, it’s like, “Bitch, act your weight.”

–Office, 48th & 6th

Posted on March 14, 2016
Etiquette, Fat People, Fitness, Guys, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Street

I Smell a Project Runway “Reinvention” Challenge!

Girl: Do you think it's inappropriate to wear black to a funeral?
Guy: Um, no. Why would it be?
Girl: Well, its just so… depressing. It's so cliche!

–1 Train

Posted on March 4, 2016
Colors, Death, Etiquette, Girls, Guys, On the Subway

…In 1995

Drunk girl, screaming at Adam Duritz: I want you in my vagina!
Friend: Would you stop?! Like 400 people hate you right now!
Drunk girl: I don’t care, they didn’t fuck him!
Friend: Actually… Like 200 of them probably did…

–Counting Crows Concert

Overheard by: Hating her

Posted on February 12, 2016
Comebacks, Default, Drunks, Etiquette, Friends, Girls, Offers and requests, Sex, Vagina, Wishes & desires

Isn’t That Nice?

Tourist lady: Everyone has been so nice in New York; not what I expected.
Woman: We are nice, just self-absorbed.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Renaissance Chick

Chick #1: Omigod, like, if I like your earrings, why should I tell someone else I like your earrings? I should just tell you.
Chick #2: Omigod, I’m just like that too. But really it’s because I love getting compliments.
Chick #1: Omigod! Me, too! It’s the only reason why I say nice things to other people.

–33rd & 6th

Overheard by: Mary Beth Hanlon

Girl: Fuck nice! I am a born and bred New Yorker, I don’t care for nice. I dont’ want to be nice, I want to be right! Fuck nice!

–O’Neil’s Irish Bar ladies’ room, 3rd Avenue

Overheard by: Banana

Posted on January 20, 2016
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Central Park, Etiquette, Manhattan, Tourists

Drunk, Or Still Emerging from the Anesthesia?

Conductor: May I see your ticket, please?
Drunk tranny: I already showed my ticket.
Conductor: Yes, but you haven’t showed it to me.
Drunk tranny: What the fuck? I already showed my damn ticket.
Conductor: OK, calm down. Just show me your ticket, please… I’ll come back for it to give you a minute to find it.
Drunk tranny: You are probably a leather queen. I pay $16,000 for a cunt and this is the disrespect I get. I am fucking changing cars.

–Long Beach bound LIRR