What About This Coin with the Chick and the Baby in the Sling?

Thug, handing coin to dealer: Yo, man, check this out. You ever see something like that? What's it worth?
Black salesman: This is an Eisenhower dollar, from the bicentennial. They're not really worth more than a dollar. You can spend it, or save it as a souvenir.
Thug: Damn, man, I went through a lot of trouble to get this. My grandmother left it to me when she died. You sure it ain't valuable?
Black salesman: I'm afraid not.
Thug: Somebody offered me $100 for this shit.
Black salesman: Then I recommend you go back to that person and sell it to him. It was a great offer.
Thug: Sheeeeeeit. (leaves)
Black salesman, muttering to himself: Stupid-ass nigga.

–Fulton Street Mall

Overheard by: Big Larry

Posted on December 20, 2009
Black People, Brooklyn, Clerks, Death, Family Ties, For Sale, Insults, Malls, Money & Class, Thugs

…But That's Your Son, Over There.

Father to son: Son, I love you, fuckface!
Son to father: I love you too.

–37th & 4th

Overheard by: Jonas Puer

Posted on December 10, 2009
Dads, Family Ties, Insults, Kids, Love, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Parents

Hey, That's Our Line.

Girl on cell: Okay, I've got to get naked for my cousin. Bye!
Random passerby: Say what?

–3rd Ave & 14th St

Posted on December 8, 2009
Family Ties, Girls, Incest, On Cell, Strangers

Go Back to Williamsburg, Wednesday One-Liners!

Hipster: Ugh, my mom keeps forgetting to deposit my unemployment check.

–Williamsburg

Shouting hipster: I tripped over a Mexican!

–Spring St

Overheard by: Brigdh

Hipster girl to guy she is sitting with at the bar: I should have let you cum on my bedspread.

–5th Ave & Bergen, Brooklyn

Dozing hipster, muttering in his sleep: That's what she said.

–G Train

Overheard by: Sunny

Upset hipster chick to friends: So now that my brother's going to college,they're not going to pay my rent anymore. I told my mom, "I'm twenty-five, I pay all my other bills on time, I haven't done anything wrong!"

–Union Pool, Williamsburg

Posted on December 2, 2009
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Brooklyn, Cleanliness, Cum, Dreams, Education, Family Ties, Friends, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Hipsters, Money & Class, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Sensory Experiences, Soho, Street, Stupidity, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Williamsburg

Bless Me, Father, for I Have Wednesday One-Linered

Man in cowboy hat, looking at large crowd surrounding a Jew for Jesus: Man, I can't compete with religion, all I got are card tricks! This sucks!

–Union Square

Overheard by: SilentRaver

Guy on cell: Why, is it because it's the blacks? (pause) Oh, I get it. It's the Baptists.

–Cosi, 13th & Broadway

Overheard by: Heather

Crazy creepster, going up to Catholic girls and screaming: Catholic schoolgirls rule!

–R Train

Overheard by: Amanduh

Tall, 40-something guy on cell: I don't know… I don't think I can go drunk to church.

–53rd St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Midtown Schmidtown

Woman: My husband is pissed because I skipped church for this shit!

–Medieval Festival, Ft. Tryon Park

Posted on December 2, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Bars & Clubs, Catholics, Christianity, Church, Crazies, Creepsters, Drinking & Drunk People, Family Ties, Gripes, Guys, Jesus, Judaism, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Questions, Race, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Washington Heights and Inwood, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

And It's a Little Early to Negotiate for Alimony

Mom to little girl punching her in the butt on their way out of the bank: Don't you hit me! What's wrong with you?
Girl, whining: But I want my own money.
Mom: Well, you don't have a checking account now, do you?

–56th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Nikki G

Posted on November 23, 2009
Ass, Family Ties, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Money & Class, Parents, Punch

Wednesday M1-Liners

Bored bus driver: This is Eldar Avenue. Next stop is Kissena boulevard, and for those of you wearing headphones: blah blah blabbity blah.

–Q44

Overheard by: Carolyn S

Animated BoltBus driver: If you're talking on your BlackBerry, your strawberry, or to Halle Berry… Well, in that case, let me know…

–BoltBus

Bus driver: Ladies and gentlemen, please continue moving to the rear end of the bus. The sooner you move, the sooner we move. Thank you for your cooperation. (long pause) Those who are cooperating… ladies and gentlemen, please step in. Watch the closing door. It's about to close riiiiight now.

–101 Bus, Harlem

Bus driver: Now the road may get a bit bumpy. Just keep in mind it's not my fault, it's not the bus's fault, it's the asphalt.

–Port Authority Bus Terminal

Bus driver: On your left you'll see men wearing orange vests, they are volunteers, they are helping their community. (long pause) They entered through the back of the bus or jumped over the turnstiles, and got fined. They couldn't pay the ticket, so the city lets them work it off, only for a day or two, so they don't have to pay the ticket. So don't enter through the back of the bus or jump the turnstiles.

–Q43

Bus driver: Please keep your voices low when using your cell phones. Last week a woman refused to heed that advice, so I stranded her at the first rest stop. That was my mother.

–BoltBus

Overheard by: MilitantLezbian

Posted on November 18, 2009
About Celebrities, Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Blackberry, Bus, Bus Drivers, Cell Phone, Colors, Directions, Family Ties, Fashion, Fruit, Gadgets, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Jobs & Careers, Money & Class, NYC Geography, On the Bus, One-liners, Parents, Passengers, Port Authority, Public Transportation, Violence, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

One-Liners All Have Wednesday DNA

Woman on cell: And then he threw the wig and car keys at him, and to me, that says family!

–West Village

Overheard by: Kate S

20-something on cell: Yeah, I Rickrolled my cousin's Bar Mitzvah last night. No, he didn't get it, the sheltered little Short Hills prick.

–MoMA

Overheard by: Trevor

Young guy in deli to friend: So getting support from my parents is like dealing with a record label. You have to create a buzz, make it seem like you're doing something, or they don't want to be involved with you.

–Frank's Deli

Drunk girl: That's my brother! But we're both only children.

–Pieces Bar, Christopher St

30-something man to 30-something woman: When are we ever going to find a time when both of our parents aren't home?

–7th & 1st