Girl:…Oh come on, it won’t be that bad.
Guy: Fuck no! I am NOT fucking your sister!
–Grand Central
Girl:…Oh come on, it won’t be that bad.
Guy: Fuck no! I am NOT fucking your sister!
–Grand Central
Black guy on cell: Yea! Yea! He just called me up. I was like, "Yo, stop callin me up"… Yea!…. Yea my sister’s on crack!
–Houston & Essex
Overheard by: saywhat?
Suit: Well, I’m a drug dealer, so I have a phone for each kind: a pot phone, a coke phone, you know…
–R train
Queer on cell: Oh my God. I left the check at home. I am such a fucking idiot. I am such a FUCKING idiot! Yeah, I’ll be there at six. Ok. I’ll bring you E and orange juice.
–Bank of America, 6th Ave
Overheard by: CarrieBoo
Bum: Hey… can you spare me $20 dollars, so I can buy some crack cocaine? I mean, I’ll share it with you. I have enough for a 10 but I want a chicken head to slob on my knob while I take a hit…
–96th St Subway Station 1,2,3
Overheard by: Franco
Smooth talker: So my ex-girlfriend was a blonde Long Islander cokehead and now here I am with you. So you can see this is a real step down.
–Les Enfants Terrible, Canal & Ludlow
Overheard by: wants to meet the ex
Hipster: You OD’d? WHERE?
–14th & 6th
Bitter ex: And fuck him and his fuckin’ wooden leg that I didn’t even know he sold crack out of!
–80th & 3rd
Disgusted hipster: I mean, I only do drugs as a joke!
–14th St L station
Overheard by: Em
Mom: Why don’t you go and help your uncle fix the car?
Young girl: Excuse me… I’m not a screwdriver and I’m not a mechanic.
–Astoria
Sarah Lawrence guy: And how is your grandmother?
Sarah Lawrence girl: I don’t know, fucking dying, like everyone else’s grandmother.
–Metro-North
Overheard by: has a healthy grandmother
Woman #1: I couldn’t be a housewife. I need to get out of the house.
Woman #2: I get out… I go to Wal-Mart.
–Port Authority
Sassy woman: No, no, no, no. What I don’t think you understand is, his parents are his mother and a pimp.
–33rd & 8th
Overheard by: Alex
Drunk girl: I don’t want to be sold for five dollars on the street!
–1st Ave between 2nd & 3rd
Overheard by: Kira
Record label coordinator: This company needs a hit like a crackwhore on payday.
–150 5th Ave
Addiction expert: I don’t think he’s addicted to porn, but I think he does, like, coke off hookers’ asses.
–6 train, 68th St
Old Jewess: I couldn’t tell if they were singers or prostitutes.
–1 train, 42nd St
Overheard by: Kimdog
Man on cell: So then the hooker walked in with a squeegee. Then I knew it had gone way too far!
–Times Square
Guy: She’s kind of the President of the Prostitute Guild.
–Hughes Ave, the Bronx
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Guy #1: Yeah, I got a lot of responsibilities being a single dad. I got three kids… I have a lot of responsibilities taking care of them. I see them every three weeks in Buffalo.
Guy #2: Yeah.
–63rd & 1st
Overheard by: Mr. Rictus
Yuppie woman #1: I just couldn’t believe it. Just because I give my child everything he wants and asks for, she has the nerve to tell me that I’m giving my son a sense of entitlement.
Yuppie woman #2: I can’t believe she said that.
Yuppie woman #1: Yeah. The nerve!
–Downtown 2 train, Fulton St
Guy on cell: I don’t know, now she won’t sleep in the bedroom ’cause of the mobster, and she needs a ride to the Hamptons.
–7th & Ave A
Overheard by: Analt
Guy: He’ll be here in another twenty minutes. He’s sleeping in the back of a car.
–74th & 2nd
Overheard by: Wendy
Teenage girl: I know it’s so wrong, but I’m seriously lusting for luxury cars. I just want to lick them. I want to hump those leather seats!
–WTC Path station
Overheard by: Carine
Suburban boy: Oh my God, driving in the city is most fun thing in the entire world!
–Downtown R train
Overheard by: confused
Man: I had a bad night tonight. I stole a car, got two tickets. I shouldn’t-a stole that car.
–Bodega, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Flasteppi
Drunk guy on cell: If you don’t have my money by 12 tomorrow, I’m gonna get your mother’s car and your sister’s car…I still love your sister, too, but you better have my money.
–Union Turnpike-Kew Gardens E/F station
Young woman: Where did all these cars come from? New York doesn’t have cars.
–35th & 5th
Overheard by: Frank & Alex
Mother: Bitches, get your asses over here!
Son #1: There’s no seats.
Mother: There’s one right here next to me.
Son #2: I wanna sit next to him.
Mother: I said, motherfuckers, get your asses over here. I don’t want to sit by myself.
Son #1: There’s nowhere to sit!
Mother: I said, get over here. I don’t want to sit by myself. I don’t know no one over here!
Older woman: Don’t no one make friends with her.
–A train
Overheard by: Rehey
