College guy: Is that free cotton candy?
College girl: I don't know.
College guy: Oh no, you gotta pay for it.
College girl: Come on, let's go.
College guy: I don't even like cotton candy.
College girl: Then why did you make us stop?
College guy: Did you not hear me say “free”?
–St. Mark's Place
Kid #1: You don't wanna get a sample of ice cream? Well, that's cause you're gay!
Kid #2: Are you sure I'm gay?
–Grand Army Plaza
Overheard by: TW
Girl #1: I was thinking about getting Slim-Fast, because I thought I needed it, but now I only drink water…Oh, and orange juice!
Girl #2: …And lots of beer and liquor.
Girl #1: Oh yeah, and lots of beer and liquor.
–G train
Overheard by: Richard Blakeley
Astoria girl #1: Ohmigod! I'm going to dinner with my hot guy friend tonight! His picture is on Facebook, I'll show you!
(shows friend photo)
Astoria girl #2: Oh, I know him, I used to have sex with his roommate!
–Astoria Park
Guy: Snookie is not even Italian. She is Chilean.
Girl: Snookie is a creature of her own. I don't know what she is… She likes pickles.
–7th & 1st
Overheard by: R
Chick #1: What did you do with that bagel I gave you?
Chick #2: I threw it away. I’m fasting today.
Chick #1: You can’t throw away bread!
Chick #2: Why not?
Chick #1: It’s the body of Christ!
Chick #2: It can’t be the body of Christ; it’s a bagel!
–Office, 53rd & Madison
Overheard by: greek goddess
Boy #1: Hey mom, is…is chicken meat?
Boy #2: No, dumbass, it’s a fruit.
Mother: Hush now! I don’t want to hear that language!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Blake Wyatt
Girlfriend: So, do you think Fiona is really crazy?
Boyfriend: No, I just think she is hungry.
–Fiona Apple concert, Central Park
Overheard by: Nicole B.
Girl #1: Holy shit! That guy just threw a slushie at the conductor.
Girl #2: That’s like a felony, right?
Girl #1: Yeah, they should arrest that guy.
Girl #2: I can think of so many better things to do with a slushie.
–5 train
40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Hey! How's it going?! Where are you from?
40-something regular guy: Seattle. You?
40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Newport Beach, California! What are you off to do?
40-something regular guy: Dinner and some drinks with friends. You?
40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Me and a buddy are going to take mushrooms and go see Young Frankenstein for the third time! It's hilarious when you're high!
–Elevator, Sheraton Hotel
