Dude #1: You know, you're a real dick.
Dude #2: (nods)
Dude #1: But you're a dick like an asshole, not a dick like a cock.
Dude #2: Yeah?
–7 Train
Overheard by: Dan
Dude #1: You know, you're a real dick.
Dude #2: (nods)
Dude #1: But you're a dick like an asshole, not a dick like a cock.
Dude #2: Yeah?
–7 Train
Overheard by: Dan
Gay friend: Yeah right, I'm sure it's not that good.
Girl (loudly): Ohmigod, my sex is so that good. (to passengers) Who wants to try?
(silence)
–F train
Overheard by: definitely not me
Drunk guy to friend: Everybody knows that if you're a Boy Scout in the Midwest, you're a fucking asshole.
Friend: I know.
–43rd St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: Joey
Young man #1: You know, I don't get it. Why am I being ostracized?
Young man #2: Those girls.
Young man #1: So what if I hang out with those girls! I like girls as… you know… friends. It's not like I'm straight or anything.
Young man #2: But, Jerry… You fucked all of them! You're not gay.
Young man #1: Just because I like to fuck girls doesn't make me straight, Okay? Geez!
Young man #2: Really? And all this time I thought that's exactly what it meant.
Young man #1: It just means I don't like assholes.
Young man #2: You're still not going with us to the drag show. Get over it.
–14th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Tara O'Sullivan
Latina: I don't care what a guy says, I'm not gonna let him piss on me.
–Vesey Street & Broadway
Overheard by: Sam
Giggling four-year-old boy: Yeah, and there was a sign and it said, "Caution: someone peed here!"
–Waverly & W 11th
Bimbo: And he was like, "Sarah, you pissed the bed" and I was like, "Whaaaaat?" and he was like, "Sarah, get up, you pissed the fucking bed!"
–Theater District
Overheard by: Paul
Girl on cell: Alright, fine, but if you pee on me again, we're done!
–C Train
Overheard by: Laura
Guy, in disbelief: You mean you've never been pissed on before?!
–14th & Broadway
Overheard by: Josh
Girl: Would it be considered indecent exposure if I peed in the sink?
–Lyceum Theatre
Girl to friend: Her?! She totally splashes her urine.
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: Ellen
Dude: Mount Olympus is just, like, one giant trailer park.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Jessica
Guy: People in Vietnam are different than us.
–Park & 24th
Overheard by: Sabrina
Girl to friend: Say something in British, or wherever you're from… Switzerland!
–8th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Larry
Supposedly well-traveled woman: But you know where I want to go next? Buenos Aires! They haven't changed to the Euro yet.
–3rd & B
Hipster: I'm going to punch Uzbekistan.
–West 42nd St
Hipster girl to boyfriend: People like you, you're the reason people die in Mexico!
–18th & 1st
Overheard by: Jessica
College girl to her boyfriend: Yeah, but you always make sexual advances on my roommates.
–Lincoln Center
Serious student: Yeah, well, I really don't want to talk about my roommate's penis anymore.
–LaGuardia & Washington Square South
Chick to friend: It's not about the toilet paper, his roommate only used baby wipes.
–Spring St & Mott St
Overheard by: Nick Caylor
NYU kid on cell: I'm still hoping to live in housing next year unless my roommates find out that I got arrested.
–Mercer & Waverly
Young suit into cell: You pissed on my toothbrush!? What the fuck? Fine, I'll get you a new pouffe… Fuck you! Pink or purple? Just get me a new toothbrush! You know what kind! Always, right? The blue ones or the yellow ones? Well, did you get your period or no? Okay… Okay… fine… fine… fine! Look, I'll be home around seven, okay? (yelling) I don't care who you're fucking, it's your turn to cook! Right, fine, talk later, okay? (hangs up, to very attractive female companion) She's really just my roommate…
–82nd & Lexington
Guy #1: Yeah, I saw this chick that was almost hot.
Guy #2: Almost?
Guy #1: Yeah… all her curves were going the wrong way.
–E Train
20-something chick: So one of the side effects of my anti-depressive medication is a complete lack of sexual desire.
20-something dude: Oh well, mine don't do that!
20-something chick: Uh… okay?
20-something dude: … just saying.
20-something chick: They also make it harder for men to ejaculate. Not that I would know.
20-something dude: Yes you would, don't lie to me.
20-something chick, hanging head: …I know.
–114th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Vicksburg
Chick #1 in stall: So Jessica*…
(loud hand-drier turns on for a few seconds, then off)
Chick #2, in adjacent stall: Yeah?
(loud hand-drier turns on again, then off)
Chick #1: So did I tell you about…
(loud hand-drier turns on again, then off)
Chick #1: So then I sucked his co…
(loud hand-drier turns on again, then off)
Chick #1: And long story short, I'm pregnant!
(loud hand-drier turns on again)
–Bathroom Bohemian Beer Garden, Astoria
Overheard by: SillyUrn
