Redhead: So, what’s your favorite planet?
Blonde: Mercury.
Redhead: Oh, come on. Mercury is the sun’s little bitch.
Blonde: Well then, what’s the moon?
Redhead: Y’know, if you look at the sun, it can get bright sometimes.
–Elevator, Hotel Edison
Redhead: So, what’s your favorite planet?
Blonde: Mercury.
Redhead: Oh, come on. Mercury is the sun’s little bitch.
Blonde: Well then, what’s the moon?
Redhead: Y’know, if you look at the sun, it can get bright sometimes.
–Elevator, Hotel Edison
Drunk girl, screaming at Adam Duritz: I want you in my vagina!
Friend: Would you stop?! Like 400 people hate you right now!
Drunk girl: I don’t care, they didn’t fuck him!
Friend: Actually… Like 200 of them probably did…
–Counting Crows Concert
Overheard by: Hating her
Cute girl to drunk friend sitting provocatively with a miniskirt on: Sit up, Beth, your coochie's hangin' out.
Drunk friend: I can't get up. (yelling) Does anyone on this train have a problem with my vagina hanging out?
(train is silent)
Drunk friend: See? No one cares. Vaginas are like modern art these days.
Cute girl: I guess.
Drunk friend: You could take a picture of my snatch right now, frame it, make it look like Warhol, and it would sell in the MoMA for five thousand bucks. Hell, I should be charging admission fees right now. Anyone who comes to see my snatch exhibit and doesn't buy a copy is a misogynist.
–A Train
Thug to young friend checking DVDs in library: How come you got a library card?
Friend: Because I'm…normal?
–Seward Park Library, Broadway & Rutgers
Overheard by: Puma
Long-haired dude: You penised his penis with your penis!
Creepy chick: Dude! That’s, like, penis cubed!
Long-haired dude: Damn. How many penises is that?
Creepy chick: Well, three. Penis times penis times penis. Duh.
–56th & Lex
Overheard by: i never passed math
Girl: So you’re saying there might be a chance?
Guy: Yeah…if her husband leaves her, I’m next in line.
–Lafayette St. at Cooper Square
Girl #1: I just love Jessica Simpson.
Girl #2: Why the hell did you have to fuck this relationship? I hate her! We can’t be friends now.
–19th & 9th
Overheard by: Scott
Woman in workout clothes: It definitely does not grow with age because he's 23 and he has the tiniest penis.
Friend: Yeah, I totally agree…
–Union Square
Overheard by: squeaky
Emotional suit: My shrink said I’m dragging my feet to test my wife.
Supportive suit: He could be right.
Emotional suit: No, it’s a woman.
Supportive suit: Oh no! She is manipulating your ass.
–3 Train
Overheard by: EmLo
NYU girl to friend: So then he like bitched me out, hardcore, in a text. And he didn’t talk to me for like a day so I was just like, “Ugh, whatever.” But then he ended our relationship on facebook! And I was just like, “Oh my god!” I need someone who’s mature, y’know?
Friend: Oh… Yeah. Totally.
–NYU
Overheard by: Clook
