Teen Girl 1: Omigod, she totally promised to stay after and help me take audition pictures, and she bailed on me.
Teen Girl 2: Yeah, she’s like the French: “Ve vill help you America! Zhust kidding…ve have to go drink coffee and eat croissants now!”
–Lincoln Center
A businesswoman throws up over the edge of the ferry. A chick walks up to help her, and then admonishes the ignoring crowd standing around her: You should all be ashamed of yourselves for not helping this poor woman!
Headphones Guy: Fuck you!
Chick: What if it was you getting sick over the rail?
Headphones Guy: Fuck you! I don’t get sick!
–Staten Island Ferry
Guy #1: Don’t you think that makes sense?
Guy #2: No, it doesn’t make sense, which is why I think we’re going to fucking get arrested!
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal
Overheard by: David Lock
Man: I never met a necrophiliac, but my friend met one at Bellevue.
–La Grolla, UWS
Drunken friend #1: That guy at the bar was hot. You totally should’ve taken him home.
Drunken friend #2: Why me? Let her (points to drunken friend #3) take him home.
Drunken friend #3 (trying to be discreet): Ummmm excuse me? I don’t need a man. I have d-i-c-k at home.
Drunken friend #2: Uhh, the rest of the train can figure out what you just spelled.
–Crowded 6 Train
Overheard by: ear hustler
Guy: Dude…did I ever tell you about that time I died?
Friend: What?
–Union Square
Girl #1: We totally only hired her because she’s British.
Girl #2: Oh, is she the one who smells like babies?
Girl #1: Yeah…
–East Village
Middle-aged theatrical man, watching summer crowds: Ah! Manhattan in the summer… The hypnotic sway of the unfettered breast…
–Rockefeller Center
Woman on cell to friend: If I have hips this big and I haven't even had a kid, I'm getting boobs. I just want a nice round c cup!
–14th St & 10th ave
Overheard by: adam
Girl to boyfriend, after putting cell phone in her jacket: Yeah… That's not a pocket, that's my tit.
–L Train
Overheard by: TR
Guy on cell phone: What's up, biscuit-tits?
–21st St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Steve
16-year-old girl to buxom pal: Your breasts are a personal attack on me!
–F Train
Overheard by: wish i was being attacked
Thug #1: I’m so fat.
Thug #2: No G, you not fat!
Thug #1: You playin’.
Thug #2: I’ll tell you fat. When you put on sweats and they stretch out. That’s fat. Besides, you’re like what, six foot six? You can pull it off.
Thug #1: Thanks, G!
–Inwood Pathmark, 207th St
Overheard by: austin
Guy: Did you hook up with anyone on New Year’s?
Girl: Yeah, and he’s like a prince of some country.
Guy: Heh, that’s cool I guess. Did he take you to his palace?
Girl: No, but that would’ve been cool. I’ve always wanted to touch a prince’s penis.
–6 train
Chick: So, I figured we’d ring in the new year with a three-way.
–34th & Park
Chick: There are 3 things I hate about the holidays. One, people who become assholes for no reason. Two, people who become more emotional for no reason. And three, people who are both of the above.
–86th & 2nd
Overheard by: Gwenn Levine
Guy #1: Hey, what did you do this weekend?
Guy #2: Dude, I bought a crock pot.
Guy #1: Awesome.
–80 Hansen Pl, Brookyln
