Wednesday One-Liners Will Slap You Like a Red-Headed Stepchild

Woman on cell: Shut up! Shut up! I'm going to punch you in the face! I love you.

–A Bus

Spanish chick: Two things can't happen tonight. One, I can't get in a fight tonight. Two, I can't see nobody I don't like.

–5th Ave & 11th St, Park Slope

Overheard by: Matthew K. Johnson

Homeless, burnt-out surfer lady: Then I looked up, and this cunt is about to hit me like a man!

–139th & Broadway

Overheard by: Jesse Cromer

Guy to girl: The next time your parents chuckle at my misfortunes, I'm gonna kick 'em in the nuts. I'm gonna kill 'em!

–20th St & 5th Ave, Brooklyn

Jamaican conductor over PA: Don't move between cars while the train is in motion. I don't want to have to knock you the fuck out.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Got Knocked Out

Posted on October 22, 2008
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Bag ladies, Brooklyn, Bus, Couples, Family Ties, Fighting and ass kicking, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Insults, Kick, Love, Murder, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Park Slope, Public Transportation, Punch, Subway conductors, Threats, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Remember That Seinfeld Episode?

Guy #1: Oh, hey, Dan is back in New York now!
Guy #2: Yeah, actually I was over at his house this past weekend.
Guy #1: Did you get to see the baby?
Guy #2: I did get to see the baby.
Guy #1: Well? How was the baby??
Guy #2: The baby would have been adorable if it was a boy, but…unfortunately…

–20th St & 10th Ave

Overheard by: Bridget

Posted on October 3, 2008
Babies, Default, Gender issues, Guys, Questions, West Village

Every Brilliant Idea Has a Catch

Waitress #1: Do you have any tampons?
Waitress #2: Yeah, I have regular and super.
Waitress #1: Are they the plastic kind? The cardboard snags my vagina.

–Restaurant, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Unappetized

Posted on September 30, 2008
Brooklyn, Coworkers, Default, Gender issues, Menstruation, Offers and requests, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Vagina, Waitresses, Weirdness

Although One of Them Really Liked The Notebook

Man #1: You have kids?
Man #2: Yeah, four sons. All boys.

–Penn Station

Posted on September 13, 2008
Default, Gender issues, Kids, Men, Penn Station, Questions, Stupidity, Words

Wednesday One-Liners Go Balls Out

Male kickballer: You know, I always like waking up with two testicles!

–Queensboro Oval, 59th & York

Overheard by: Me too

Bag lady outside of a shelter to another: Men think all they got to do is show us their dick and balls and we gonna be mesmerized.

–30th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Beef Cheeks

Gay guy: Yeah, I stopped watching that game after he started dressing up like a woman and kicking photographers in the balls.

–Park Ave & 20th St

Overheard by: fey

High school girl wrapping arms around other girl's shoulders: Suck my balls.

–60th b/w Broadway & Columbus

Overheard by: Krisztina

Posted on September 10, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bag ladies, Balls, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Insults, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Penis, Queer guys, Teens, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness

No Chimichangas?

Gay guy #1: So how was the party last night?
Gay guy #2: Oh, it wasn't too bad, but there were a bit too many tacos and not enough sausages, if you know what I mean.

–Fordham University

Posted on September 9, 2008
Celebrations/Parties, Default, Food, Fordham, Friends, Gender issues, Innuendo, Queer guys, Questions, Sexuality, Words

We Just Don't Have the Upper Body Strength to Lift the Victory Trophies

Boy: So, why can guys flaunt their sexual conquests and girls can't?
Girl: Well duh, that's just how biology works!

–113th & Broadway

Posted on September 9, 2008
Boys, Compare/Contrast, Default, Gender issues, Girls, Questions, Science, Sexuality, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Finally, Proof That Tight Jeans Do Have Consequences

Gay hipster guy #1: Check him out.
Gay hipster guy #2: Damn, if I was a girl my pussy would be so big. Mm.
Gay hipster guy #1: I just grew a pussy and now its wet.

–F Train

Headline by: nays

Runners-Up:
· “Evolution in Action” – Drew
· “Homosexuals at the Forefront Of Evolution!” – fester60613
· “It’s From the New ADULT Line Of Chia Pets.” – Ch-ch-ch-chia!
· “Jeff Goldbloom: Life Finds a Way.” – space coyote
· “Oh, Just What I Need, Another Fag-Hag. Thanks a LOT, Trevor.” – Rhadamanthus

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on September 8, 2008
Beauty, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Headline Contest Winners, Hipsters, On the Subway, Queer guys, Sexuality, Vagina

Because You Basically Have to Draw a Map to It

Hipster girl: And then he didn't wanna have sex anymore, and I got all moody.
Gay guy: I'd be moody too if I had a clitoris.

–50th & 6th Avenue

Posted on September 4, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Default, Gender issues, Girls, Hipsters, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Queer guys, Sex, Vagina

Wow, You Sound Like My Abortion Counselor

Yelling man: Excuse me, attention please, girls only! Two years ago we were blessed by an earth angel, and that earth angel is me, in this body! If you want to come with me, girls, to heaven, I can give you some pamphlets, information…but there is a catch! Only girls under the age of 29 may come with the earth angel! Girls above the age of 29 are destined to the infernal afterlife!
Queer Latino to lady friend: Guess you're gonna burn.

–4 Train

Overheard by: nooners

Posted on August 25, 2008
Age/Aging, Christianity, Crazies, Creepsters, Default, Friends, Gender issues, God Squad, Latinos, Men, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Queer guys, Threats, Weirdness

Gender issues