Desperate middle-aged woman #1: You know, women outnumber men these days…
Desperate middle-aged women #2: I know. I mean, where can you go to find single middle aged men?
Homeless guy: Boston market!
–Gramercy
Desperate middle-aged woman #1: You know, women outnumber men these days…
Desperate middle-aged women #2: I know. I mean, where can you go to find single middle aged men?
Homeless guy: Boston market!
–Gramercy
Guy: Hey, Marie, we're going this way. Yeah, Marie…I'm calling you Marie today. Today is “middle name day.”
Girlfriend, shrugging: Whatever you say, Carol.
–Canal Street Station
Man exiting subway: No, thanks, I've had enough urine in my nose today.
–14th St & 8th Ave
Guy, infatuated with female friend: If I had a pool I'd let you pee in it.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Chadwick
Sturdy guy to chubby girls: We're men! We pee in the park!
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: mmhmmm
Mad boyfriend beside girlfriend: No! No! No! I know how you are! I know how they are! All you have to do is pee and…
–Steinway St.
Overheard by: Dustin
Loud girl: Ugh, I wish I had a penis so I could pee on all ya asses.
–Edward R. Murrow High School, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Amused Freshman
Little boy to brother: I have all the power! Do not make me pee-pee on you again!
–Throop & Pulaski
Overheard by: Melissa Kairuz
Employee: I like your pink shirt.
Coworker's 9-year-old nephew: It's not pink; it's white with pink and green stripes.
Employee: So you like to wear pink?
Coworker's 9-year-old nephew: My shirt *isn't* pink! (now shouting) It's white with pink and green stripes and it takes a real man to wear pink!
–Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Synitta Walker
Gay guy to friend: The men in my family die young while the women live much longer. I don't know where that leaves me.
–W 4th St & Bank St
Daughter to mother: There are only boys and girls, right?
–M60 Bus
Math geek to another: I think society benefits more from cross-dressing than murder.
–Outside Tisch Hall, NYU
Overheard by: shaun
Woman to man: You did know she had a penis, right?
–Broadway
Overheard by: Jessica
Guy, to another standing up: Sit down, sugar tits, this ain't our stop!
–G Train
Overheard by: Matthew & Aaron
Guy to another: Hey, how're the bumps on your cervix doing?
–Thompson & Bleecker
Overheard by: office peon
Woman: Is angel a boy or a girl?
Teenager: Angel's a boy, mom.
Woman: But he sounds like a girl!
–Nederlander Theatre
Angry suit chick on phone: No, I am your second bitch, but I still love you!
–41st St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: That guy has his hands full
Cute activist girl, after extended conversation about Kwame Kilpatrick: I mean, you can't just kill a bitch and expect no one to notice!
–LaGuardia Airport
NYU sudent: She's like one of those fabulous bitches though, you know?
–NYU Dorm
Overheard by: Me too Honey
Guy on cell: A dog show, like where you pick up bitches!
–23rd Ave, Queens
Overheard by: Xavier
College student to friend: I really want to bump into him. Condescending comes across so much better in person. (pause) And I can't wait to be a sarcastic bitch!
–6 Train
Overheard by: Pola
Ex-con to group of friends: I don't mean shit to a bitch! (looks over at a terrified hipstergirl next to him. He takes off his hat) I mean. I have very little value to most ladies.
–C Train
Overheard by: Tim Roth
Girl: Guys have boobs too!
Guy: (…)
Girl: Who are those two guys that have boobs?
Guy: (…)
Girl: Oh! Batman and Robin!
–1 Train
Tall, well-dressed transvestite to 20-something staring at her: Bitch, I can jiggle my titties *just* as good as you.
Shocked 20-something to friend: What…can she really?
–14th St Subway Station
Old Jewish woman at the start of Yom Kippur: I think god wants me to be in a theater rather than in temple.
–45th & 8th
Little boy to friend: It wasn't until last year that I realized that not everybody is Jews!
–Near Columbia
Overheard by: CSims
Gym receptionist discussing television series Mad Men: It's sexist against women…and Jews, too!
–10th & 7th
Overheard by: Zack
Elderly Jewish woman, in hushed voice, to elderly Jewish man: My rabbi is an atheist who lives in Israel! What can you say?
–Brooklyn College
Overheard by: Rabbi's Agnostic daughter
Goyish looking guy with toddler in stroller: Well, you know the Hebrews always like to celebrate the New Year–especially in a year that ends in '69, if you know what I mean.
–Mercer & Broome
Overheard by: Garuda
Woman on cell: We're on the bus run by Hassidic Jews, ya know, like Woody Allen… It's like the Jewish express!… Nah, I'm covering up the phone so no one hears me.
–Vamoose Bus, Penn Station
