Behind the Scenes With Wednesday One-Liners

Suit on cell: I just don't know what my problem is. I keep getting fucked in the ass, and I just can't figure out why!

–54th b/w Madison & 5th

Overheard by: Pedro

Gay guy to boyfriend (angrily): Well, fine–you can fuck your own ass then.

–W Train

Overheard by: Bethany

Female suit on cell: That's the last time I tell him he can put it anywhere…I haven't been able to sit right all day.

–54th & 5th

Overheard by: GP

Hipster girl to friend: These short-haired girls are starting to piss me off. The only reason why they get all the artsy guys is 'cause they look like fellow fags and aren't prissy about taking it up the butt.

–6 Train

Overheard by: lauren

Girl on cell: He wanted to do it in the butt… No, his butt.

–37th & 7th

Serious woman to friends: Yeah, my students are telling me that the newest thing is butt sex.

–116th & Broadway

Posted on February 6, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Backdoor, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Hair, Hipsters, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, Queer guys, Suits, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness, Women

The Freshman Fifteen, Explained

Girl #1: Well, college is different, because you're on your own, but in a very structured environment.
Girl #2: Did I tell you about the pancakes?

–4 Train

Posted on February 6, 2015
Compare/Contrast, Education, Food, Girls, On the Subway, Questions, School and studying, Stupidity

Casper Joins the Navy?

Dude: What’s that movie — the one with the ghosts on the ship?
Chick: Ghost Ship?
Dude: Maybe.

–Kingsborough Community College

Overheard by: Lotte

Posted on February 6, 2015
College, Girls, Guys, Idiots, Movies, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Theater & Dance, Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!

Presenting the Year's Sweetest Compliment

Girl: Do you like it better when I'm shaved?
Guy: Eh… I don't really care.
Girl: Really? Most guys have a preference.
Guy: Yeah, but with you it doesn't matter. You know how any hairstyle looks good on a pretty face? It's kind of like that.

–Bowery & 5th St

Overheard by: didn't see her face…

Posted on February 6, 2015
Beauty, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Girls, Guys, Hair, Physical appearance, Questions, Union Square and East Village, Waxing

The Name “Pinkberry” Encourages Such Speculation

Girl #1: I always wondered what it would feel like to be a penis inside a vagina.
Girl #2: Me too!

–Columbia University

Posted on February 5, 2015
Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Girls, Penis, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Vagina

Art for Wednesday One-Liner’s Sake

Woman at bar to her friend: Ok, I know I’m an art dealer, but I’m like, the least bourgeois person I know.

–Smith & Mills (restaurant in Tribeca)

Overheard by: the lerpa

Little boy to friends: There are are four really big, important artists: Monet, Van Gogh, Renoir and… Pistachio.

–Impressionism Room, Metropolitan Museum of Art

Overheard by: I love Pistachio’s green period

Young girl: These paintings smell nice and fresh!

–The Met

Angry white suburban artist to Jews for Jesus: Stop talking! You are pushing this on me without me asking -that makes you a cult. Go away. We don’t like your kind here -we are all white suburban artists.

–Morgan L Stop on Bogart

Overheard by: not a hipster

Gangsta: Dali? Ain’t he like, Picasso or some shit?

–The Met

Posted on February 4, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Always Bringing it Back to You!, Artists, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Jobs & Careers, Kids, Names, Offers and requests, Questions, Race, Religion, Restaurants & Cafes, Scents of the City, Subway stations, platforms, etc., The Met, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Women, Words

Is This a Fight? Discuss.

Girl #1: You know how I am.
Girl #2: Yeah, I know how you are.
Girl #1: How am I?
Girl #2: I don't know!

–Waverly Place & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Cory W

Posted on February 4, 2015
Girls, Questions, Stupidity, The Village

The Exact Point at Which I Shit Myself

Girl #1: When I got the shit beat out of me last year it broke my septum and I had to get surgery on my nose.
Girl #2: You did not get the shit beat out of you! A homeless woman punched you in the face!

–NYU

Posted on February 4, 2015
Body Parts, Girls, Homeless, NYU, Punch, Surgery

Well, I Don’t Think It’s Quite That Cut and Dry

Chick #1: So, I was taking his pants off and I was like, ‘Oh my gosh, he’s wearing whitey-tighties!’ And then I realized they were actually black..
Chick #2: You didn’t know already that he was black?!

–Brother Jimmy’s BBQ

Overheard by: Joe John

Posted on February 4, 2015
Clothing, Girls, Race, Restaurants & Cafes

Nuh-Uh!

Girl: Why didn't we just let the cab drop us off in front of the place?
Guy: I don't like to show up in cabs.
Girl: But why?
Guy: I just don't.
Girl: But why?
Guy: You sound like a three-year-old.

–Madison Ave & 72nd St

Overheard by: Venti Tres

Posted on February 3, 2015
Age/Aging, Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Guys, Questions, Upper East Side

Girls