Guy: Awww, man, did you hear? Billy's in the hospital!
Girl: Oh no! What happened?
Guy: He only ate bananas and pop for like two weeks straight.
Girl: Shit, that sucks. Poor Billy!
–Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Guy: Awww, man, did you hear? Billy's in the hospital!
Girl: Oh no! What happened?
Guy: He only ate bananas and pop for like two weeks straight.
Girl: Shit, that sucks. Poor Billy!
–Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Woman on phone: I am being nice, but I'm not going to describe to you in great detail what a bug looks like!
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: R&L
Man in zoot suit: When I talk, I don't want you bitches saying nothing! I only wanna hear the cockroaches fornicating on the walls!
–F Train
Overheard by: Reagan
Hipster: It was like watching a praying mantis have a seizure.
–16th & 8th
Wasted girl on sidewalk: No, I am so upset, I am so upset, I lost the back of my phone and there is a bug, a bug!
–11th & Broadway
Old lady: She looks pretty much like a roach.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Woman preaching: Jesus loves you!
Obviously Jewish girl: Well, supposedly we killed him, so I don’t think so.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: G
Girl #1: I don’t know what kind of atmosphere! I just want something professional and sophisticated.
Girl #2: “Professional” and “sophisticated”. Excuse me while I go smoke an L in an alley behind the stock exchange.
–14th & 9th
Teenage nerd: My boss and my dealer have the same name. One time I called my boss asking for weed, and he was like "hey!" and I was like "yo, lemme cop" and he was like "I think you have the wrong number" and I hung up.
–Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: joy
Yuppie 30-something in black coat and white scarf: I'm going crazy! I've got his dealer's number programmed into my phone, but I can't remember her name, so if I call, I won't know who to ask for. And you have to know who to ask for, or they'll think you're a cop!
–16th St & 7th Ave
Loud, mildly intoxicated girl at dinner: People who litter are so much worse than drug dealers.
–Brooklyn
Lady on cell: Tourism is the only industry that doesn't depend on drug cartels.
–14th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Diaz
Cashier guy: Would you like to donate a dollar to the March of Dimes?
Girl: Uh, no thank you.
Cashier guy: Aw, poor preemies.
–K-mart, East 8th Street
Girl #1: Anarchists are so dumb.
Girl #2: Yeah, totally.
Girl #1: I mean, just ’cause you hate the government doesn’t mean you have to dress badly.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Liser
Girl, after watching Annie Hall: So, that was your first Woody Allen movie? What did you think?
Guy: It was very Larry David-esque.
–Movies Under the Brooklyn Bridge
Overheard by: Smart Alex/ You Know Nothing of My Work!
Drunk hipster: Since when did the vagina become the font of all morality?
–110th & Amsterdam
Girl running in pajamas: Oh my god my vagina is so cold!
–50th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Matt
Girl proclaiming: I saw the vagina.
–NYU
Acting student: You have a vagina and he’s all into that. I have a penis and he’s not all into that. That’s why you have to do this for me.
–Archbold Theater
Overheard by: nice
Crazy black woman: I know my pussy! You don’t know my pussy! Haha! You can’t say you know my pussy, I know my pussy! Haha, hah! If you can’t find my pussy, you can’t say you’re not too big!
–114th & Broadway
Overheard by: Xiao Hoah Dze
Nondescript guy on cell phone: So, were the vaginas ok?
–55th St & 8th
