Chick #1: I saw A Clockwork Orange this weekend.
Chick #2: What’d you think?
Chick #1: Um… [Long pause.] British men are hot.
–Barnes & Noble
Chick #1: I saw A Clockwork Orange this weekend.
Chick #2: What’d you think?
Chick #1: Um… [Long pause.] British men are hot.
–Barnes & Noble
Girl #1: Where do you get bras?
Girl #2: Victoria’s Secret, because no one else has my size.
Girl #1: What size are you?
Girl #2: Buttloads of huge.
–St Marks Place & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Mariah
Girl #1: “Its so annoying how your phone wont learn to spell ‘fuck’.
Girl #2: Yeah. It wont spell “fucked” either, thats the one I have trouble with.
Girl #1: Yeah. Like it always spells “ducked”.
Girl #2: Yeah. And I don’t wanna be ducked, I wanna be fucked!.
–L Train
Overheard by: Lara
Headline by: maggie
Runners-Up:
· “Donald And Daffy Went Home Alone That Night.” – 1310 (formerly SNA)
· “Fowl Language” – Koren
· “My Phone Totally Just Cock Blocked Me.” – Jennette
· “Old McDonald Had a Fetish, E-I-E-I-Blow” – CV
· “Sexy Is Using a Feather, Kinky Is Using the Whole Bird” – Jatmos
· “That’s Right… Ducked in My Puppy!” – Stick
· “The “Lame Duck” Presidency All Makes Sense Now” – Dale
· “Well, Once You Go Quack…” – Tim Ferlito
Teen girl: If you cut off a guy’s penis, how long do you think it would take for him to bleed to death?
Teen boy: Uh…
Teen girl: Hypothetically, I mean.
–Natural History Museum
White chick, examining bacteria plate: Aww, my bacteria are so cute. I have like pink ones!
Blondie: Lemme see. Ewwww… Is that what you colonized from your hand?
White chick: Yeah…?
Blondie: Ewww, you’re dirty, don’t touch me.
White chick: Fuck you, I go on the subway all the time.
Asian chick: Me too. Hey, I have some white colonies on my finger culture… Maybe I have some white in me after all.
White chick: And I have some yellow colonies! Together, we are a perfect rainbow of transcultural germs.
Asian chick: Awesome.
–Barnard Biology Lab
Overheard by: Vicksburg
Preppy girl #1: I knew it! I knew it! I told you, I knew it!
Preppy girl #2: Like, oh my god! I knew it, too! I told you I knew it!
Guy, just getting on the train: Like o-m-g, I knew it too!
–R Train
Overheard by: Jenn
Girl #1: That guy over there is so attractive… And he has a huge penis. I can tell from his fingers.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Yeah, you can totally tell what a guy’s penis would look like based on their fingers. That’s how I knew it hurt when you lost your virginity before you even told me…I saw his fingers.
–1 Train
Girl #1: Oh my god, did I tell you? Alex called me yesterday! And it wasn’t 6 am for once, it was 3 pm!
Girl #2: That’s great!
Girl #1: I know. He was like [low voice] “heeeeeeey” and I was like [high voice] “heeeeey!” and it was amazing. Well, not really. But it was so great.
–Starbucks, Washington Square
Drunk guy with thick NY accent: You girls… You girls are visiting the greatest city in the world.
Drunk tourist girls: [giggle.]Drunk guy with thick NY accent: You wanna know why? You wanna know why this is the greatest city in the world?
Drunk tourist girl #1: Why?
Drunk guy with thick NY accent: ‘Cause I can stand right here on the street and ask you to suck my balls.
Drunk girl #1: Um, you can ask us that anywhere.
Drunk girl #2: Yeah… We’re from Wisconsin and people there ask us that all the time.
–Thompson and Bleecker
Overheard by: I guess the Cheeseheads are more brazen than we thought
Girl, as she passes out cards: Jesus loves you!
Passerby: Actually, Jesus and I haven’t really gotten along since my people killed him. But thanks!
–43rd & Broadway
