Guy #1: He looked like a taller, more imposing Mikhail Gorbachev
Guy #2: Yeah, sans blotch.
–Times Square
Overheard by: TP
Guy #1: He looked like a taller, more imposing Mikhail Gorbachev
Guy #2: Yeah, sans blotch.
–Times Square
Overheard by: TP
Guy #1: Dude, I hate fat chicks that are stuck up.
Guy #2: Yeah, it’s like, “Bitch, act your weight.”
–Office, 48th & 6th
Suit on cell: Never make any decisions after drinking two pitchers of beer. After the first one, I was like "okay, this is what I'm doing." But after the second one, I ended up as director of the D.C. United Way. At first, I wasn't too worried, because I figured they'd give me a drug test, and I knew I wouldn't pass.
–6 Train
Hopeful-looking guy to concerned-looking guy: Basically, you're not ready to be an alcoholic, so you should stay away from alcohol.
–Polk St
Girl to guy friend: She's a great drunk. She's probably one of the best people to hang out with when she's drunk.
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: T
Hawker: It's happy hour! Come on up, and I'll watch your kids while you get drunk.
–Planet Hollywood
Girl, during lunch: I'm not drunk anymore!
–W 4th & University Place
Big black woman, on Halloween: Who are you supposed to be, The Mad Hatter?
Guy: I'm Willy Wonka. Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka from the seventies.
Big black woman: Oh, I never would have known. You know, what you need is an accessory, a prop.
Guy: Like what? I look just like him!
Big black woman: You need a chocolate woman on your arm.
–Jack Dempsey's Pub
Girl, touching water bottle on hot dog stand: Wow, this water is really hot!
Guy: Yeah. When you drink it, it's basically tea without the flavor!
–51st St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: ThirstyEar2
Cute chick on cell: If the Amish can do it, so can you. [Pause, then louder.] If the Amish can do it, so can you!
–113th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Lady on cell: You tell my momma to get her ass to church and stop sinning!
–Grand Concourse, 205th St.
Overheard by: LSB
Black guy to another: Go to the Catholic church, cracka. They got good drugs.
–11th & A
Middle Eastern man: I believe in Islam and Allah, but I drink, I smoke, and I fuck. When I stop doing those things, then I’ll pray.
–C Train
Overheard by: Mark
Thug: I totally invented the Chuck Norris religion.
–Queens Mall
Overheard by: LSB
Pushy black woman to employee standing next to portrait studio samples: The next time I come in here, I want to see my daughter's picture up here, because she is beautiful.
–K-Mart, 34th St
Overheard by: EthanK
Guy: There were some pictures taken, involving, like, my penis and Caleb's penis and five other guys.
–4th St & 2nd Ave
Girl: Food is overrated, let's just take a picture and leave.
–100th St & Broadway
Hipster punk girl on phone: Hello? (pause) No, but I know a girl if you're looking. She also puts jelly on her toes. (pause) Who? I once sold a semi-nude photo of myself at an art show once. I think Brendan has a copy of it… no one would ever pay to see my feet. But again, I ask, who were you talking to? (pause) Dave was under the impression that I sold pictures of my extremities for money? That's awesome! I'm going to send him a picture of my elbow!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Ayenbird
Guy: The more bodies, the more pictures. That's what I always say.
–14th St & 7th Ave
Guy: How many dicks can you fit in your vagina?
Girl: Umm, I'd say five.
–Fire Island
Overheard by: Pranav
Girl: It was because her labia was so strong.
Guy: You aren't supposed to talk out of your labia.
Girl: She wasn't talking out of her labia.
Guy: It was a queef. It's still a sound.
–30th & 5th
Overheard by: Heinz
Girl: Do you think it's inappropriate to wear black to a funeral?
Guy: Um, no. Why would it be?
Girl: Well, its just so… depressing. It's so cliche!
–1 Train
