Guy #1: Dude, I got icy hot on my penis and it hurt so bad that I had to wrap it in toilet paper.
Guy #2: Haha, it's a mummy penis!
–NYU Palladium
Overheard by: Zacharia
Guy #1: Dude, I got icy hot on my penis and it hurt so bad that I had to wrap it in toilet paper.
Guy #2: Haha, it's a mummy penis!
–NYU Palladium
Overheard by: Zacharia
Woman: Your doctors told us not to let you have any alcohol, because of your medication.
Elderly woman: Okay. I'll just have beer then.
–F Train
Overheard by: Mae
Stoned vendor: That's a real marijuana leaf in there.
Random curious guy: No way!
Stoned vendor: Way! I grew it myself!
Random curious guy: So I can smoke the plate and shit?
Stoned vendor: Yeah, but you'll set your face on fire and go into a coma.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Dwight K Shrute
Girl, scratching her arm: I have a bug bite; it itches.
Guy: You think that's bad? I have a genital wart.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Fox
Asian guy coming from gym: I swear, you're like anorexic.
Skinny girl coming from gym: Oh my god, I would much rather be bulimic than anorexic, you get to eat so much!
–Washington Mews, NYU
Drunk sorority girl #1: My feet hurt.
Creepy hobo: Do you need someone to rub 'em for you, baby?
Drunk sorority girl #2: Violated! Violated!
–Bleecker & McDougal
Man: Say, how's your tapeworm doing?
Woman: Oh, don't even get me started!
–R Train
Overheard by: Chad L.
Man on cell: She said I had to pay, so I shat in her mouth and left.
–34th & 5th
Three-year-old boy, looking overjoyed: I have to go poop!
–Store, 18th & Union Square West
Overheard by: i had to go, too!
Woman getting on train, giggling: I got a question…is there a pile of feces on this train?
–A Train
Elderly man on phone: Yesterday I coughed and shat my pants.
–3rd Ave & Fordham
Four-year-old boy, dancing: I like to move it, move it! I like to poop it, poop it!
–E 69th St McDonald's
Overheard by: Leslie
Brunette on cell: And then I told her, "hey hey, I'm not the fecal freak here. Don't go throwing poo at me." I mean really, I don't even like my own poo. I'm supposed to like hers?
–Williamsburg
Columbia girl: I mean, they're such bad friends. They basically support her being anorexic!
Friend: That's such an understatement. They encourage the anorexia! They're fucking fans of anorexia!
–116th & Broadway
Overheard by: Fellow Supporter
Teen: No Mexican food. I don't need diarrhea.
Teen with Mohawk: Your mom has diarrhea. Diarrhea gave your mom a coma.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Livingston
