Girl #1: My room is so small. My room is 7.5 x 10.
Girl #2, gasping: Where do you put your shoes?!
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Derek
Girl #1: My room is so small. My room is 7.5 x 10.
Girl #2, gasping: Where do you put your shoes?!
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Derek
Chubby teen with big ass: Guess what, mom…I have a new nickname.
Parent: What is it?
Chubby teen with big ass: They call me “tiny tush.” Whenever I see them they go, “hey, look, it's tiny tush!”
–F Train
Ghetto girl: Hmm, I know what a peanut is, but what a walnut is?
–147th & Broadway
Man on cell: It's quite possible that my left nut is bigger than my right nut.
–82nd & Broadway
Girlfriend to boyfriend: So that's why Yoda sounds like busting a nut!
–Ave A & 6th St
Guy to friend: I've been bitten in the nuts by two different Scottish Terriers.
–7th Ave b/w 24th & 25th
Overheard by: Carmen
Guy on cell: I'm just like an anorexic. Every time they look in the mirror, they think "I'm not skinny enough," but I look in the mirror and think "these pants aren't tight enough," even though everyone tells me they can see my nuts.
–L Train
Girl to friend: I know, man! I was like, "Expelliarmus!"
–116th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Bahnahd
College guy to his friends: If you use the word "status quo" in a paper, you're guaranteed to get at least an A.
–Cental Park
Overheard by: dizzle
Smug dude: He told me he needed a dictionary to have a conversation with me. I mean, just because instead of saying…um…like…well, instead of a short word…I use a big one.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Ivory Girl
Old man to another: What's that word mean, "egotistical"? You blindsided me with that word! Egotistical!
–Reading Room, Bryant Park
Overheard by: Jessie
Woman on cell: You never heard of tilapia? You got to get out of the hood!
–St. John's & Classon
Overheard by: Mollie
Hispanic male (about son): It's like this long! (demonstrates with fingers)
Hispanic female: Wow!
Hispanic male: I swear. I'm so proud of him.
–M Train
Overheard by: bsmpm
Man: That's why I make you guys take your shoes off when we get into the house. When I was a kid, people would make their dogs poop on the street, so you had to watch where you step when crossing the street. Now it's just everywhere, all over the sidewalks.
Kid: Ew!
Man: They outta call this “Park Poop” instead of Park Slope.
Kid: Poop Slope!
Man: Haha, yeah, Poop Slope! Whoa, did you see that? That was a big one, like from a Great Dane or something!
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Overheard by: elaisted
Homeboy to friends: Man, growing up I was sure that “onomatopoeia” was the longest word in English.
Friend: No doubt.
–43rd & Lexington
Girl: Rodney, don't make fun of us because we're short! It's funny–when I sit down, I'm taller than him. (gestures to other short friend)
Rodney: You get two feet taller with your ass.
–1 Train
Cute 18-year-old girl, looking in a mirror: I can't believe I still have this pimple on my chin.
Older sister: Let me see. Geez, I think it's getting bigger.
Metrosexual brother: That's because she shaves her beard with the razor I use for my ass.
–Upper West Side
Woman to security guard: Excuse me, did you see a man with a really large package? I'm looking for a man with a large package. Did he come by yet?
–51st St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Rob
LIRR worker, yelling over tracks to another who is carrying huge bolt fastener: Hey! Nice nuts!
–Woodside Station
Overheard by: Jobee
Lab instructor, showing students how to breathe carbon dioxide by blowing into the test tube through a straw: Don't blow too hard, or else the whole thing will come up all over your face.
–Biology Lab, Hunter College
Overheard by: did anyone else catch that?
Very old woman to decorative hardware salesman: It's become such a problem–I just can't seem to keep my knobs tight anymore!
–Gracious Home, 67th St & Broadway
Mother waiting for kid in the bathroom: Billy, will you stop singing and just come?
–Waiting Room, Grand Central
