Hispanic man #1: Fucking wind. It’s fucking cold up here, Holmes.
Hispanic man #2: People complain about New York too much, man. Remember how we had them killer bees?
–120th between 1st & Pleasant
Overheard by: Patrick Stegall
Hispanic man #1: Fucking wind. It’s fucking cold up here, Holmes.
Hispanic man #2: People complain about New York too much, man. Remember how we had them killer bees?
–120th between 1st & Pleasant
Overheard by: Patrick Stegall
Girl #1: Look, yo! You got a tumor on your arm, a tumor!
Girl #2: That’s not a tumor, it’s a mosquito bite… like my tits!
–E Train
Overheard by: Jatmos
Girl #1: Ohmigod! I just saw a cockroach.
Girl #2: Ew! Goddammit, I don't want to have to leave, this pizza is really good!
Girl #1: The roach had wings, so that means it came in from outside and this place isn't necessarily roach-infested.
Girl #2: But it could be.
Girl #1: For the purposes of us enjoying this awesome pizza, it isn't.
Girl #2, as girl #1 continues eating her pizza: And that is what psychologists call “rationalization”.
–Pizza Place, 31st St
Overheard by: An A+ in psychology, an F in life
Woman on phone: I am being nice, but I'm not going to describe to you in great detail what a bug looks like!
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: R&L
Man in zoot suit: When I talk, I don't want you bitches saying nothing! I only wanna hear the cockroaches fornicating on the walls!
–F Train
Overheard by: Reagan
Hipster: It was like watching a praying mantis have a seizure.
–16th & 8th
Wasted girl on sidewalk: No, I am so upset, I am so upset, I lost the back of my phone and there is a bug, a bug!
–11th & Broadway
Old lady: She looks pretty much like a roach.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Suit: Am I going to be charged for the giant roach that fell on my head while I was eating?
Cashier lady: Um…no.
–Spade’s Noodles, 3rd Avenue
Overheard by: Becca and Christa
Guy: I don't think bees even have vaginas.
–23rd & 3rd
Suit to another: I want him scrutinized. At a gnat's ass level!
–Midtown Office
Middle school thug: I been radioactivatin' spiders in my kitchen.
–C Train
Overheard by: Emily B.
Mother to five-year-old boy: No, you can't buy grandma a plastic spider for Christmas!
–74th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Harriet Vane's Husband
Guy on cell: Hey, did I tell you I got drunk last night and ordered 1,500 ladybugs off the internet?
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ashley
Fat college guy on cell: I only read books with robot insects on the cover. If it doesn’t have robot insects, I slap a sticker on. Pride and Prejudice? Robot insects on the cover makes it better.
–Metro-North
Overheard by: Ferry
Guy to friend: Look, the root of the problem is that you have a shrine dedicated to semi-colons in your closest! I don’t care if they’re the god of all punctuation marks, that’s just weird!
–Stuyvesant High School
Metrosexual: I’m fairly certain that I’ve read every single fantasy series that has dragons in it.
–Stuyvesant Town
Overheard by: Karin
Ghetto chick: Nah, all I’m sayin’s is that even if you look like Steve Urkel, as long as you got the brain of Steve Urkel, you good with me.
–Jamaica-bound F train
Overheard by: Floyd
Leader of pack of teen boys dressed up like Star Trek characters: I didn’t say it was a good planet…
–Tuxedo Renaissance Festival
Overheard by: Murray
(cricket chirps)
Angry-looking woman #1: Yo, I think that cricket said somethin'
(cricket chirps)
Angry-looking woman #2: Hold on, I think that bitch is sayin' some shit!
Angry-looking woman #1, looking for cricket: You wanna start somethin? Nobody be talking shit about me.
Angry-looking woman #2: Let's fuck this bitch up.
–Roosevelt Island
Girl to friend: When I was in 4th grade my teacher made me take the butterflies home to let them grow. What happened? They fucking died! I came back to school and looked like an idiot because I was the only black girl in my class. Leave it to the damn black girl to kill the butterflies and ruin it for the whole class!
–52nd St
Jersey woman #1: I wanna see that movie this weekend, I'm gonna go watch it at the theater.
Jersey woman #2: You gonna get those ladybugs all over you.
Jersey woman #1: Ladybugs?
Jersey woman #3: She means “bed bugs.”
–42nd St & Lexington
