Why Is This Girl Riding the Subway?

JAP: Oh my god, I can’t wait to move into the city. I can’t take my house anymore, my parents are always up my ass. Gabby, what time will you be home? Gabby, don’t forget to tell Rosa to pick up your dry cleaning! Gabby, we’re paying your tuition, you can’t treat this house like a hotel! It’s so annoying! I just wanna be on my own, I can take care of myself, I don’t need them constantly doing stuff for me!
Friend: Yeah… So where were you thinking of moving?
JAP: I dunno, my dad said he might let me move into his apartment on 89th. Either that, or a partner at his firm is selling a co-op that he might buy for me. He said I can choose.

–Uptown W train

Posted on August 8, 2015
Friends, Gripes, Home, Sweet Home, Idiots, JAPs, Judaism, Money & Class, Names, NYC Geography, On the Subway, Parents, Questions, Rich people, Stupidity, Talking/Convos

Those Jews and Their Wednesday One-liners

Asian guy: Are there really this many Israelis in New York?

–61st & 5th

Overheard by: Adam Shprintzen

Tourist girl: What’s a knish? I don’t know about these flavors. Can I get a plain one?

–Yonah Schimmel’s Knishery, Houston Street

White girl: There’s really no difference between gay guys and Jewish guys…Just the hat and a little ass-fucking, but other than that they’re pretty much the same.

–184th & Bennett

Girl: I don’t know if it’s an ego thing or what, but Jews really turn me on!

–French Roast Cafe, West 11th Street

Overheard by: Dottie McFarland

Posted on August 5, 2015
Asians, Ethnic Food, Girls, Judaism, Manhattan, Race, Restaurants & Cafes, Tourists, Upper East Side

So That We’ll Never Forget to Light It

Tween girl #1: She’s been in this bitchy mood all week and when I asked her why she said she just got back from the Holocaust Memorial.
Tween girl #2: Holo–oh, that Jewish thing with all the candles? Why does that have a memorial?

–Dumbo

Overheard by: Egregious Pixie

Posted on July 29, 2015
History & Geography, Judaism, Stupidity, Tweens

It’s a Damn Good Thing You Put Out

Ditzy teen: Hey, is the pope Jewish?
Boyfriend: Ummm, no — why the hell would you think that?
Ditzy teen: Well, he wears that little Jewish thing on his head.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Olivia

Posted on July 27, 2015
Bimbettes, Central Park, Judaism, Pope, Stupidity

Have You Forgotten Fran Drescher?

Chinese coworker: Hey, you’re wearing makeup today!
Jewish coworker: Yeah, I had a little extra time this morning.
Chinese coworker: But I thought Jewish people couldn’t wear makeup?
Jewish coworker: Huh!?

–Office Building, 26th & 11th

Posted on July 26, 2015
Buildings, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Chinese, Coworkers, Default, Jews, Judaism, Makeup, Stupidity

It Has a Disproportionate Influence on Other Smells

Girl: Can you press 8, please?

The guy does so. The doors open to let him off on the 3rd floor, and the scent of hannukah latkes fills the elevator.

Girl: Smells like Judaism here.

–Elevator, Columbus between 95th & 96th

Overheard by: Jayson Littman

Posted on July 23, 2015
Elevators, Ethnic Food, Food, Holidays, Judaism, Manhattan, Places, Religion, Scents of the City, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Venues

You Need to Work on Your Technique

Jewish guy: Fat Jewish girls love Tasti D-Lite.
Jewish girl: So do Jewish guys.
Jewish guy: That’s because I’m trying to find a wife.

–3rd St & 92nd Ave

Posted on July 16, 2015
Food, Jews, Judaism, Upper East Side

Enough to Be Greedy, but Not Enough to Feel Guilty about It

Chick #1: Sometimes I wonder if my Jewishness has more to do with living in New York.
Chick #2: I totally know what you mean. Like, how Jewish would we be in California?

–7th St, between 1st & Ave A

Headline by: Kevin

Runners-Up:
· “Fantastic Goyage” – j3rry
· “I Think More Than Madonna, Less Than Jesus” – alex gherardi
· “Like, Do These Tefillin, Like, Make My Wig Look Fat?” – Herbie McHebrew
· “Putting the El-Al in LA” – kerm
· “We Still Wouldn’t Swallow, but We’d Spit Cooler” – RaindanceRichard

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on July 14, 2015
Headline Contest Winners, JAPs, Judaism, Questions, U.S. Geography, Union Square and East Village

Since When Is “Jingle Bells” a Christian Song?

NYU girl #1 (singing): “Jingle bells/Jingle bells…”
NYU girl #2: Would you stop singing Christmas music, you're Jewish! Sing “Dreidel, dreidel”!
NYU girl #1: Ewwww.. No, I hate that stupid Jew song!

–Q Train

Posted on July 14, 2015
Christianity, Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Judaism, Music, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Students

More Like a Muslim Thing

Tourist girl #1: What’s with all the Jewish people here? Is it a Jewish holiday or something?
Tourist girl #2: Maybe it’s a Mormon thing.

–Ground Zero

Posted on July 14, 2015
Christianity, Girls, Ground Zero, Idiots, Judaism, Stupidity, Tourists