Wednesday Double-Entendre Liners

Middle-aged woman to another: Oh! Look at those nuts, Theresa!

–Holiday Market, Union Square

Four-year-old girl, holding giant lollipop: Daddy, look! It's so big I can't get my mouth around it!

–Gristedes, University Place

Overheard by: M

Girl to friend bending down to pick something up: You are now the official bender in this relationship.

–Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

Woman reading menu outside: I love fish tacos!

–Chavela's, Prospect Heights

Overheard by: zack g.

Girl on cell: Well, my mouth is really small, you know? So I needed something really wide to hold it open.

–1st Ave & 5th St

Overheard by: Asaywhat

Posted on August 11, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Balls, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Dads, Erections, Ethnic Food, Fast Times at New York High, Food, Friends, Girls, Grocery Stores, Height, Kids, On Cell, One-liners, Penis, Queens, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Little White Girl Doesn't Get Uptown Much

Little white girl on cell: Well, of course he's hot, he's big and black and can't take the sun!
(looks at large black man next to her) I mean, he's a cat, and all furry and stuff!

–125th St & Lenox

Overheard by:

Posted on August 9, 2010
Beauty, Gay Man's Best Friend, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Kids, On Cell, Physical appearance, Race, White People

Is Daddy Just Visiting?

Mom to little girl playing Monopoly: You're not in jail, you're just visiting.
Little girl: Why would I want to visit jail?
Mom: I don't know, that's just the way the board is.

–Hudson River Park

Posted on August 6, 2010
Hudson River, Kids, Moms, Prison, Questions

In Summary, Daddy's Got Game.

Little girl: Mommy, why were you and daddy fighting under the covers today? Were you playing cards?
Mother: That is exactly what we were doing.

–JFK Terminal

Overheard by: Woman who sat in front of her

Posted on August 6, 2010
JFK Airport, Kids, Moms, Parents, Questions, Sex

Jew Think?

Railway announcer: This is the train to Ronkonkoma, next stop Jamaica, Queens.
Little boy to dad: See, dad… I told you he said “yarmulke”!

–LIRR

Overheard by: Charlotte

Posted on August 5, 2010
Dads, Directions, Judaism, Kids, Public Transportation, Trains Not Subway, Words

Raise Your Hand If You Wish You Were Drunk

Loud tween girl: Did you know that I drank wine when I was a baby?
Friend: Huh?
Loud tween girl: Yeah! I drank wine when I was a baby. Did you know that if your mom drinks wine when she's pregnant, then you drink it too? My dad told me. He's a doctor.
Friend: Well, I drank beer once.
Loud tween girl: I tasted champagne on New Year's. But yeah, I drank wine when I was a baby. I probably got drunk!

–M23 Bus

Overheard by: I'd like a glass of wine right now

Posted on August 2, 2010
Bus, Drinking & Drunk People, Friends, Kids, On the Bus, Parents, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Tweens

Groupies Are Born, Not Made.

Five-year-old girl #1, seriously: You know we're gonna need a drummer if we wanna sound awesome.
Five-year-old girl #2, enthusiastically: Yeah! Boom boom boom boom boom!

–Inwood Hill Park

Overheard by: Joshy Sweetpants

Posted on July 29, 2010
Kids, Music, Parks, Singing, Stupidity, Washington Heights and Inwood, Wishes & desires

Anybody Still Worried About Social Security Going Broke?

Mother, walking with two daughters: So what should we do now?
Little girl #1: Let's trip old people!
Little girl #2: I call mommy!

–Bayside

Overheard by: Danny

Posted on July 25, 2010
Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Parents, Queens, Should've Used a Condom, Sisters

…But Yes.

Little boy, singing: “Shattered dreams… Shattered dreams…” Mommy, do you have shattered dreams?
Mother: It's not on my iPod.

–R Train

Posted on July 25, 2010
Dreams, iPod, Kids, Moms, On the Subway

Wednesday One-Liners Should Have Hired a Sherpa

Frantic woman: Excuse me, is this the train to Manhattan?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: oliver

Tourist to companion: We've left the village now, but I don't think this is Soho.

–Stanton & Orchard

Middle-aged woman in sharp looking suit: I thought Croatia was an Asian country in Europe.

–4 Train

Woman to friends: I had four kids today label New York in the middle of the Atlantic ocean. I am such a great teacher.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Mickey and Gabe

Posted on July 21, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Directions, Education, Friends, Kids, Lower East Side, NYC Geography, On the Subway, One-liners, Penn Station, Public Transportation, Questions, Stupidity, Times Square, Tourism, Tourists, Train Station, U.S. Geography, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Kids