Anybody Still Worried About Social Security Going Broke?

Mother, walking with two daughters: So what should we do now?
Little girl #1: Let's trip old people!
Little girl #2: I call mommy!

–Bayside

Overheard by: Danny

Posted on July 25, 2010
Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Parents, Queens, Should've Used a Condom, Sisters

…But Yes.

Little boy, singing: “Shattered dreams… Shattered dreams…” Mommy, do you have shattered dreams?
Mother: It's not on my iPod.

–R Train

Posted on July 25, 2010
Dreams, iPod, Kids, Moms, On the Subway

Wednesday One-Liners Should Have Hired a Sherpa

Frantic woman: Excuse me, is this the train to Manhattan?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: oliver

Tourist to companion: We've left the village now, but I don't think this is Soho.

–Stanton & Orchard

Middle-aged woman in sharp looking suit: I thought Croatia was an Asian country in Europe.

–4 Train

Woman to friends: I had four kids today label New York in the middle of the Atlantic ocean. I am such a great teacher.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Mickey and Gabe

Posted on July 21, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Directions, Education, Friends, Kids, Lower East Side, NYC Geography, On the Subway, One-liners, Penn Station, Public Transportation, Questions, Stupidity, Times Square, Tourism, Tourists, Train Station, U.S. Geography, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Keeps Me from Hurting You, Sweetie-Darling

Little kid: Mommy, I'm bored.
Mom: Yeah, I know. Life's tough.
Little kid: I wanna staple something. (points to SIGG bottle) I know what that is. That's your liquor.

–Long Island City

Overheard by: Modernly Spaced

Posted on July 20, 2010
Drinking & Drunk People, Kids, Long Island, Moms, Wishes & desires

He's Only Nice to You, Honey

Two-year-old boy: Are we going to daddy's?
Mom: Yes.
Two-year-old boy: Can we stay there forever?
Mom: No! What are you? Crazy?

–N Train

Overheard by: Varda

Posted on July 19, 2010
Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Parents

Black Guys Running the Bases in a Suspicious Manner?

Little boy, pointing at NYPD helicopter: Daddy ! What's that?
Dad: That's a ghetto bird. (then to friends) Normally it's native to neighborhoods with a lot of black people… Wonder what it's doing here?

–Citifield Stadium

Overheard by: Matt F.

Posted on July 19, 2010
Birds, Cops, Dads, Friends, Kids, Queens, Questions, Race

She's Always Talking About Her Labor

Man with double-wide stroller: Everybody wants a muffin… Everybody wants a muffin, but nobody wants to work for it.
Kid: But mama does…

–Bookstore, Columbia University

Overheard by: Pat

Posted on July 17, 2010
Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Dads, Food, Kids, Parents, Store, Wishes & desires

When Level-Headed Children Are Born to Drama Queens

Little black girl boarding Chinatown bus: Mama, I was on this bus before and nothing happened.
Mother, also boarding bus: Yeah, well, I was on this bus last week and it caught on fire.

–Chrystie St.

Posted on July 17, 2010
Black People, Bus, Fire, Kids, Lower East Side, Moms, On the Bus, Public Transportation

…According to the Statement Released by Her Publicist

Whiny tween: Daddy, I just got hit in the eye.
Yuppie dad: Oh! You did? Who hit you in the eye?
Tween and mom: Mommy did.

–Prospect Heights

Overheard by: Andrea

Posted on July 16, 2010
Body Parts, Brooklyn, Dads, Kids, Parents, Tweens, Violence, Yuppies

Who's Gonna Make a Lion Use the Litter Box?

Small boy, in genuine distress: Daaaaddy… It's dis-gust-ing in heeeere.
Father: I know. Come on, let's do our business.
Small boy: It smells like a lion pooped on the floooor! I wanna leave.
Father: Me, too.

–Men's Bathroom, Bronx Zoo

Posted on July 15, 2010
Animals & Nature, Compare/Contrast, Dads, Kids, Parents, Parks, Poop, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, The Bronx

Kids