Boy in car: Where are we going?
Mom: Shopping.
Boy, pointing at the first store he sees on the street: Let's go to Dress Barn!
Mom: No!
–Rego Park
Overheard by: Jasper
Boy in car: Where are we going?
Mom: Shopping.
Boy, pointing at the first store he sees on the street: Let's go to Dress Barn!
Mom: No!
–Rego Park
Overheard by: Jasper
Grandma: What's wrong, honey?
8-year old boy: I'm done. You're all in my face, I'm dehydrated, and I'm going home.
Grandma: Well, we can get you a water.
8-year old boy: I don't want to hear it, grandma!
–5th Ave & 47th St
Blond son: Mom, is the Statue of Liberty a boy or a girl?
Mom: Well, what do you think it looks like?
Blond son: I think it's a boy. It looks like a boy.
–Ferry to Statue of Liberty
Overheard by: Jaclyn
Upper East Side crone: I just came back from Sudan, and there was nothing to buy there!
–Gift Shop, American Folk Art Museum
Hick obese wife to hick obese husband: Sometimes I like Wal-Mart better, sometimes I like K-Mart better. It depends on the day.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Emily Faxon
Tourist lady on cell: No, I was in the store the entire time! I got 8 pashminas!
–Canal St
Overheard by: Canadian Girl
Cheerful 10-year-old with cornrows to 30-something woman: This is a world famous store! So don't be surprised if you're still here at one o'clock!
–Macy's, 7th Ave
Asian girl, pointing to D'Agostino: Oh, that's D'Agostino. It's like a Japanese grocery store or something.
–10th St & University
Upper East Side mom: I shop at Target because I like to support out local businesses whenever I can.
–62nd & 3rd
Nine-year-old expert on American Girl dolls to would-be collector: Oh, no, not Sarah, you won't get her, she's retired. (about another doll) Good luck finding her, Lindsay retired too!
Would-be collector: Wow, I can't believe all these dolls are retiring!
–M14 Bus
Overheard by: Laurie Gwen Shapiro
Gay guy, looking at girl dressed in princess costume: Look at that little girl. She looks so cute!
Gay friend: Yeah, she's really adorable.
Gay guy: If I had a daughter she would dress like that every day. She would wear that to school. (pause, looks at father) I would totally fuck her father.
–17th St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: Julie
Little kid: You never take me anywhere!
Mom: How can you say that to me? We went to the Prospect Park Zoo last weekend. You've been to Disney World!
Little kid: You never took me to the Twin Towers.
Mom: 9/11 happened two weeks before you were born.
Little kid: See!
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Small boy: I wanna go home! Why can't we go home, mommyyyyy? I'm tireddd. I'm bored!
Mom: Shush now.
Little girl passing by with her mom: Yeah, be quiet!
–Target, Staten Island
Overheard by: Ilikecandy
Young son: Daddy, look! It's a doggy!
Preppy father: Yeah, it's a dog, son. Give it a break.
Bystander: Father of the year!
–Union Square
Overheard by: likes dogs
Girl in sweatpants: I kind of want someone to pants me. Just so that I can show off my ass without being a whore.
–High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Fabulous gay man to another: Ohmigod! I'm totally having a Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants moment right now."
–9th Ave & 47th St
Teenage boy, screaming: I can't wait to get my pants off!
–Broadway & 52nd St
Man to seven-year-old daughter: Hold onto the rail so you don't fall. Cause if you do fall, we're all going to laugh. We're going to laugh really hard. We're going to laugh so hard we will shit our pants.
–N Train
20-something well-dressed girl to another: He comes home saying he won all this money, and falls asleep with his hands in his pants, and that's the end of the story.
–Bedford Ave & 7th
