Eight-year-old boy #1: You look like an old person!
Eight-year-old boy #2: I have a good one: you look like dried cum!
–Grand Army Plaza
Overheard by: Eric Arevalo
Eight-year-old boy #1: You look like an old person!
Eight-year-old boy #2: I have a good one: you look like dried cum!
–Grand Army Plaza
Overheard by: Eric Arevalo
Little boy on subway: Are we there yet?
Dad: No.
Little boy on subway: Where are we going?
Dad: 1,932nd Street. It's in Maine.
–1 Train
Little girl: It smells here.
Father: Oh, like what?
Little girl: Like… Coffee… and… the zoo.
–Starbucks
Father to two toddlers walking with mommy: So your mother offered to take me to The Standard for our anniversary, where we'd pose naked in the windows for all to see. I told your mommy I'm game… Afterwards we'll sell the pictures in Australia, how's that sound?
–23rd St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: geedee
Hipster, on being mugged: So I'm in the ambulance, but instead of feeling bad about it I took a picture of myself and put it on Twitter.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Girl on cell: Just take nude photos of yourself. Go home. Take off your clothes, stand in front of a mirror, and take pictures.
–23rd St
Slutty-looking hipster chick on phone: My ex boyfriend said that he googled me and found naked pics of me.
–4th Ave & 86th St
Overheard by: bay ridge bitch
Annoying teen girl: He said "You know Limp Bizkit? Well, this is limp dick!" And he sent me a picture of his soft penis and I died laughing on the street!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Wallflower
Five-year-old girl: My favorite part of the movie was the naked man!
Mother: Mine too, mama.
Five-year-old girl: Naked maaaaaaaan!
Father: Make her stop.
–Park Avenue & 25th St
Boy in car: Where are we going?
Mom: Shopping.
Boy, pointing at the first store he sees on the street: Let's go to Dress Barn!
Mom: No!
–Rego Park
Overheard by: Jasper
Grandma: What's wrong, honey?
8-year old boy: I'm done. You're all in my face, I'm dehydrated, and I'm going home.
Grandma: Well, we can get you a water.
8-year old boy: I don't want to hear it, grandma!
–5th Ave & 47th St
Blond son: Mom, is the Statue of Liberty a boy or a girl?
Mom: Well, what do you think it looks like?
Blond son: I think it's a boy. It looks like a boy.
–Ferry to Statue of Liberty
Overheard by: Jaclyn
Upper East Side crone: I just came back from Sudan, and there was nothing to buy there!
–Gift Shop, American Folk Art Museum
Hick obese wife to hick obese husband: Sometimes I like Wal-Mart better, sometimes I like K-Mart better. It depends on the day.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Emily Faxon
Tourist lady on cell: No, I was in the store the entire time! I got 8 pashminas!
–Canal St
Overheard by: Canadian Girl
Cheerful 10-year-old with cornrows to 30-something woman: This is a world famous store! So don't be surprised if you're still here at one o'clock!
–Macy's, 7th Ave
Asian girl, pointing to D'Agostino: Oh, that's D'Agostino. It's like a Japanese grocery store or something.
–10th St & University
Upper East Side mom: I shop at Target because I like to support out local businesses whenever I can.
–62nd & 3rd
Nine-year-old expert on American Girl dolls to would-be collector: Oh, no, not Sarah, you won't get her, she's retired. (about another doll) Good luck finding her, Lindsay retired too!
Would-be collector: Wow, I can't believe all these dolls are retiring!
–M14 Bus
Overheard by: Laurie Gwen Shapiro
