Little girl #1: Do you have a boyfriend?
Little girl #2: Yes, and I hate him.
–Starr St.
Overheard by: Asizzle
Little girl #1: Do you have a boyfriend?
Little girl #2: Yes, and I hate him.
–Starr St.
Overheard by: Asizzle
Seven-year old boy to bookseller: Do you have any books on crop circles in this library?
–Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: Amused bookseller a few feet away
Man to another: Don't you know? All those tunnels in Afghanistan run into the pyramids in Gaza! If I was President there would be one less pyramid.
–Soup Kitchen, Midtown
Overheard by: John Gordon
Gentleman on train: You know why they invented daylight savings, don't you? It's because of Halloween, a lot of congressmen wanted kids to have an extra hour to go trick or treating. That's why we have daylight savings.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Annie
Elderly professor: Fewer chairs, less chalk every week. It's a conspiracy!
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: Denali
NYU student to another: Spinach is like sex: if you were forced to have it as a child, you wouldn't enjoy it as an adult.
–University Place & 12th St
Hobo, pointing to deli sign: They want you to toss your own salad for $8.95.
–23rd and 3rd
Overheard by: Nicole Shipman
Suit shouting into cell: Eggplant! Eggplant! Jesus Christ, what is so fucking hard about eggplant?!
–Greenwich Village
Overheard by: Sunny
Subway preacher: I like vegetables! You gotta eat them so you can live. I like to put vegetables in my mouth. I like the way they taste!
–N Train
Guy to another: Take the pickle, because by god if someone else does and you don't get it, well, you'll be pickle-less and that's not ideal.
–125th St
Overheard by: Brian K.
Mom: You're grounded.
Kid: Thanks.
Mom: How about two weeks, then?
Kid: No problem.
Mom: Okay, let's make it three weeks.
Kid: No, let's do two.
Mom: Oh, no, three weeks with no video games.
–MacDougal & Houston
Overheard by: jaydiggs
Tattooed guy on cell: I want a human pyramid. I want a naked human pyramid.
–Veniero's Pastry Shop
Young lady: Yes, but it's not like I go riding around the city naked on a horse…
–57th St
Dude on cell: Shut up! I will sit on your face… without drawers.
–14th & 6th
Young thug to friend: She said she went up in there, and everybody in the crib was naked, everybody. Buck-ass naked.
–Nostrand Ave, Bed-Stuy
Overheard by: rick
Three-year-old boy, looking at unclothed figures at African people exhibit: Daddy? Did they take off their diapers?
–American Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Freaked the kid out after laughing at his commment
Asian kid #1: If I get any lazier, I just might die.
Asian kid #2: Sometimes I'm too lazy to sleep.
Asian kid #3: How many calories does it take to sleep?
Asian kid #1: Ask your brain.
Asian kid #2: Ask google.
–Lafayette & Walker
Overheard by: Jesse G.
Eight-year-old boy #1: You look like an old person!
Eight-year-old boy #2: I have a good one: you look like dried cum!
–Grand Army Plaza
Overheard by: Eric Arevalo
Little boy on subway: Are we there yet?
Dad: No.
Little boy on subway: Where are we going?
Dad: 1,932nd Street. It's in Maine.
–1 Train
Little girl: It smells here.
Father: Oh, like what?
Little girl: Like… Coffee… and… the zoo.
–Starbucks
Father to two toddlers walking with mommy: So your mother offered to take me to The Standard for our anniversary, where we'd pose naked in the windows for all to see. I told your mommy I'm game… Afterwards we'll sell the pictures in Australia, how's that sound?
–23rd St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: geedee
Hipster, on being mugged: So I'm in the ambulance, but instead of feeling bad about it I took a picture of myself and put it on Twitter.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Girl on cell: Just take nude photos of yourself. Go home. Take off your clothes, stand in front of a mirror, and take pictures.
–23rd St
Slutty-looking hipster chick on phone: My ex boyfriend said that he googled me and found naked pics of me.
–4th Ave & 86th St
Overheard by: bay ridge bitch
Annoying teen girl: He said "You know Limp Bizkit? Well, this is limp dick!" And he sent me a picture of his soft penis and I died laughing on the street!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Wallflower
