The light changes. A nanny begins to walk, pushing a baby stroller. Halfway across the street, she looks down sort of lovingly, meets eyes with the baby and says with an eerily calm tone: You know I’m sacrificing my happiness for you.
The nanny looks up and keeps on walking.
–59th & 5th
Overheard by: Drone
Brooklyn mom: You are the only kid I have ever met who doesn't like goat cheese.
Nine-year-old: Peanut butter!
–Brooklyn Heights
Mom to children: You guys look like dancers!
Little girl #1: Yeah!
Little girl #2: Yeah! Like flash dancers!
Mom: What are flash dancers?
Little girl #1: They take of their clothes and flash people!
Little girl #2: Yeah!
–Whole Foods, Bowery
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Little boy in a bodega to mom: Why do you have to be eighteen to buy tobacco? It's just a sauce!
Mom: No, sweetie, that's tabasco.
Little boy: Ohhhhhhhh.
Mom: Makes sense, ya?
–9th St & Ave A
Overheard by: hottamali
Five-year-old black girl: Let's play I spy!
Six-year-old black girl: I spy… Something brown!
Five-year-old black girl: The chair!
Six-year-old black girl: No.
Five-year-old black girl: The door!
Six-year-old black girl: No.
Five-year-old black girl: Us!
Six-year-old black girl: No… We're black, stupid!
–Waiting Room, Eye & Ear Hospital
Little boy, looking at bus ad: Mommy, who is he?
Mother: That's Judge Judy.
–16th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Joe Masilotti
Mother: Ouch! Billy, you bit me on my eczema!
Billy: Sorry, mom.
–42nd & 8th
10-year-old girl, looking at jack-o'-lantern: Look at Mr Pumpkinhead!
8-year-old girl: It's rude to call someone “pumpkinhead.”
10-year-old girl: It's not rude, he ain't got no legs!
8-year-old girl, singing to herself: Touch my money, I'll break your face…
–Pathmark, 145th St
Six-year-old boy #1: Poop fart! Poop fart poop fart poop fart. Poop fart!
Six-year-old boy #2: Okay, you win.
–112th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Samantha
Kid on cell: So I rubbed it really hard and really fast… and I made her throw up.
–Marble Hill High School
Drinker to friend, while playing flip cup: I will throw up in your pussy wagon.
–Whiskey Tavern, Chinatown
Woman: I'm really glad it wasn't the Prozac making her throw up… just her other meds.
–33rd St & Park Ave
Girl: My uterus is vomiting!
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
