Kid on scooter: Where are the brakes on this?
Kid on scooter #2: What is “brakes?”
–Sunset Park
Overheard by: blistxaddict
Kid on scooter: Where are the brakes on this?
Kid on scooter #2: What is “brakes?”
–Sunset Park
Overheard by: blistxaddict
Stroller mom admonishing toddler: Connor! Connor, stop that now. Connor, I'm going to count to three…in French. Un, deux, trois.
–Broadway & 93rd St
Father, teaching five-year-old son to urinate in the street: Okay, son, now you've gotta shake it.
–Fordham Road
Mom to seven-year-old daughter, on Yom Kippur: Only you could complicate a bagel purchase.
–Absolute Bagels, 108th & Broadway
Yuppie mommy to naughty child: Stop it! Stop acting up! Look, this is the reason people don't have kids.
–Starbucks
Woman to young sons: You see that boy in that other train over there? I'm gonna give him your present if you don't be quiet.
–6 Train
Father to three rowdy children: You guys are gonna need to calm down, this is gonna be a two hour ride and there is no bar car on this train. Which is unfair to daddies with 3 kids.
–Grand Central
Woman to friend: Childbirth is just really bad menstrual cramps, that's all!
–Varick St
Overheard by: Cool Breeze
Woman to toddler: Put the rest of the money back in the tampon box.
–14th St Subway Station
Overheard by: alex
Girl crossing street to friend: And then I had my period for a month!
–Houston & Broadway
Overheard by: Wondering what kind of birth control she's on
30-something woman on cell: He said he didn't care, and pulled the tampon out of me.
–Bedford Ave & N 8th St
Overheard by: tamphex twin
Girl to guy: I thought I smelled alcohol, but it was just my menstruation.
–N Train
Three-year-old distraught child: Mommy, mommy, she thought I was five years old.
Grandmother: Do you know why? Because she thought you were a big boy!
Mother: When you're five, you're going to stop sucking your… (waits for a response)
Three-year-old, face now lit up: My penis!
–79th & 5th
Five-year-old girl #1: Then she woke up, and she was in the Cylon hospital.
Five-year-old girl #2, in complete horror: What?!
–Cobble Hill, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Kate
Little girl #1 (shocked): I didn't know your dad smokes!
Little girl #2 (rolling her eyes sighing loudly): Not cigarettes.
–Church & Chambers
Fat girl at bar: Be hot, be educated, bend me over. That's all I want.
–Kenny's Castaways
Overheard by: Richard
Conductor (bitchily): Ladies and gentlemen, if you think the car you are in is too hot, feel free to get up and move!
–NJ Transit, Penn Station
Teenage girl to friend: Yeah, right, like, "Hi, I took the school bus with you in elementary school. Now you're really hot." (both laugh)
–Hunter College High School
Overheard by: Rosebud
Man on phone: Hey man, she was hot. But listen, don't tell her I have a girlfriend, okay?
–5th Ave & 10th St
Overheard by: i'm going to break it to her gently
Teenage girl on cell: Yes, I know you're not supposed to take pills from people you don't know, but he was so hot! And then I think I had sex with him.
–Chinatown Bus Station
Overheard by: Emily
Hipster kid: I should just stop wearing underwear altogether.
–Loews Cinema, 84th St
Hipster girl on cell: Is it "i before e" or "e before i"? "E before i," right? I knew it was "i before e"!
–11th & Ave A
Overheard by: Jerome
Drunk hipster girl to boyfriend: I can't afford to buy drugs, I have to buy lunch on Wednesday.
–A Train
Overheard by: Jesse Jack
Angry hipster girl: Why are there so many ATMs everywhere?!
–6th St & Bedford Ave
Overheard by: Cash Money
Hipster girl, commenting on painting to friend: God, you see diamonds everywhere now. They're like the new antlers.
–Bushwick Art Loft
Little boy, collapsing onto mother's lap: I am so hungover.
Mother: What?! No you're not! (to anyone within earshot) No, he's not.
–JFK Airport
Overheard by: Darcie
Man: That's why I make you guys take your shoes off when we get into the house. When I was a kid, people would make their dogs poop on the street, so you had to watch where you step when crossing the street. Now it's just everywhere, all over the sidewalks.
Kid: Ew!
Man: They outta call this “Park Poop” instead of Park Slope.
Kid: Poop Slope!
Man: Haha, yeah, Poop Slope! Whoa, did you see that? That was a big one, like from a Great Dane or something!
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Overheard by: elaisted
