Mom: Give me my phone.
Son: Photo?
Mom: No, you cannot take a picture.
Son (sticking phone in the butt of his pants): Please.
Mom: No, it's too loud. At home…
–NJ Transit
Mom: Give me my phone.
Son: Photo?
Mom: No, you cannot take a picture.
Son (sticking phone in the butt of his pants): Please.
Mom: No, it's too loud. At home…
–NJ Transit
Little boy looking out window: I want to take the NYU shuttle when I go to college!
Mother: You can, if you go to NYU.
Little boy: Ohh. Nevermind.
–M103 Downtown
Six-year-old boy: Words, words, words, words! One day, there will be no words.
Seven-year-old sister: That will be a beautiful day.
–2nd Ave & 7th St
Overheard by: shmarls
Activist: Excuse me, do you have a minute for gay rights?
Little boy: Daddy, what's gay rights?
Father: Umm… ask your mother.
–Bedford & N. 2nd, Williamsburg
Young child: Can I have some candy?
Older brother: No, I'm not supposed to share. See (points to writing on label) it says do not share.
–Pathmark, Queens
Father: …and a sugar cookie.
Barista: Which color?
Father (to son): Which color do you want? (to barista) Purple.
Seven-year-old son: No, pink!
Father: Okay.
Seven-year-old son: But that doesn't mean I'm gay.
–Starbucks, 23rd & 5th
Overheard by: Matthew K. Johnson
Female baggage handler to male colleague: I don't drink tequila no more. That's how I got my first kid.
–LaGuardia Airport
Very impressed girl on cell: Whoa! You actually remembered her name this time? Were you not drunk?
–12th St & University Place
Overheard by: Mr. Hedge
Seemingly sober grad student: Let's face it. We'll be drunk in (checks watch) fifteen minutes.
–Fayerweather Hall, Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
NYC police officer: How hard can it be to find a drunk person on this floor?
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: Vanessa
Girl with drink, to friends: This will have to be my last one, guys, I have to go babysit.
–Greenwich Ave & Charles Street
Overheard by: Jodi
Camp counselor pointing to giant brass globe: Guys, look! This is America… And way out here is Hawaii…
Camper: I can't find where's The Bronx.
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Autumn
Ten-year-old tourist girl wearing pink Crocs: Smoking is bad for you!
Smoking queer: Crocs are for retarded kids who can't tie their own shoes.
–50th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Scott
Girl: He sucks at his job. How does he not get fired?
Friend: He probably uses the kid card.
Girl: The what?
Friend: You know, the “Oh, look at my kid!”
–Astor Place & Broadway
Overheard by: christine y0
