Eight-year-old thuglet: Yo, the 14-year-old one was hot. I liked her.
Friend: Yo, cuz’, you can’t get no 14-year-old girl. Forget it!
Eight-year-old thuglet: Please! I could and I have!
Friend: 14? That hot?
Eight-year-old thuglet: Try 15. And hotter.
–F train
Overheard by: freckles
Comedian guy with flyer: Girl, you have some sexy nostrils!
–Broadway
Gay man to another: Next Halloween I am going to be a sexy tub of lard.
–Broadway & Spring
20-something hot girl on cell: So, like, Kristin was supposed to go as a water-boarding torture victim, which is hilarious, but then, she like, um, shows up as a *sexy* water-boarding torture victim, which is better than being, like, all gross and frumpy. But come on… that's not funny.
–Q Train
Creepy old man: When I was was a kid… Coney Island was hot! I mean "sexy." I mean it was… Bam!
–Neptune Ave
Overheard by: taylor
Girl on cell: It's really not like a sexy stabbing.
–Centre St
Kid: I speak seven different languages.
Mom: The only language you speak is Stupid.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Susspect
Headline by: Matt Higgins
Runners-Up:
· “And your Mandarin is conversational at best” – Greg Costello
· “Barbara Bush reaches her tipping point.” – Sabrina
· “But I got the Vile Cunt accent from you , mom.” – Chuck Roast
· “Kill his confidence so you don’t have to pay for Harvard” – Kristin
· “Obviously, it’s his “Mother Tongue”” – Big Larry
· “The wit of your reply has left me aghast and inarticulate, mother” – Grinning Idiot
Little girl, holding Phantom Of The Opera playbill: Mommy, were those two people married?
Mother: What two people?
Little girl: Those two people who kissed.
Mother: No. Those were actors. They were just acting in a play.
Little girl: But then outside, I saw them hug.
Mother: I think they were just saying, “Good job.” That’s how they say, “Good job.”
Little girl: Well, I saw them kiss so they better have been married!
–LIRR train
Overheard by: sara swank
Mom: We gotta figure out where the hell we’re going.
Child: Maybe you should ask a police officer or a security guard.
Mom: I’m not asking them anything. They don’t know shit. Learn that in life: never ask anyone anything ’cause they don’t know nothing.
–33rd & 7th
Boy looking at a Pollock painting: Mom, is that a TV?
Sister: No, I think it’s art.
–The Met
Dad: What was your favorite part of the museum?
Smart looking four-year-old in glasses: The water slide.
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: Loen
Baby: Hop gla blah blah.
Mother: Stop it, or I'll leave you on this train!
–E Train
Little kid whispering: I don’t have to pee.
Dad: Shut up.
–Men’s room, MoMA
Overheard by: dues
Small Canadian mimicking fat kid: You run funny.
Fat kid: Shut up or I’ll eat you. I eat Canadians for breakfast.
–Bronx Science
Overheard by: LSB
