Little girl: I like hitting my head against my daddy’s bottom!
Dad, shocked but chuckling: Oh… Well… Honey… Those conversations are left for at home…
Lady: Yeah, I really didn’t need to hear that.
–Water St
Little girl: I like hitting my head against my daddy’s bottom!
Dad, shocked but chuckling: Oh… Well… Honey… Those conversations are left for at home…
Lady: Yeah, I really didn’t need to hear that.
–Water St
Suit #1: When I dine out I like to enjoy my meal — savor the good food and wine — without any distractions.
Suit #2: Oh, alright, but I thought you’d make an exception for ninjas.
–Water & Broad St
Suit #1: So, how long did your five-minute meeting last?
Suit #2: A fucking hour.
–John St, between Cliff & Pearl
Guy, about man on Bluetooth ear piece: Man, look at that guy. He’s nuts.
Girl: Oh, geez. He’s just on the phone.
Guy, to Bluetooth man: Are you crazy? She doesn’t think so.
–Near City Hall
Overheard by: Matt
Hipster boy: It’s so weird. It’s like, one day my girlfriend will be in a good mood, and the next day, bad mood. I don’t get it!
–Broadway & Cedar
Blonde: You know what I did this morning?
Brunette: What?
Blonde: I plucked out my treasure trail with tweezers. Pain isn’t even the word.
Brunette: What the fuck? Why?
Blonde: It was too short to wax and I was impatient…
Brunette: Ummm…why didn’t you just shave it then?
Blonde: Oh hell no! It’d grow back like the next day! Shit, I’d pluck out my whole crotch if I knew I wouldn’t pass out from the pain!
–St. Mark’s Place
Overheard by: Mistress Silver
Chick: Nothing says New York like a wire frog.
–Battery Park
Lady who has loudly complained to the waiter about the poor service: It’s people like that who give New York City a bad name.
–Lindy’s, 7th Ave
Overheard by: joemikehap
Amateur anthropologist: Of course I have a snarky attitude! I’m a New Yorker; it’s practically a requirement!
–F train
Overheard by: Braincurve
Tourist on cell: Yeah! I’m in New York! Yeah, it’s kinda like New Orleans, except bigger and you can’t drink in the streets.
–Grand Central
Man on bicycle: New York is about freedom! Suck a dick!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Laura
Guy watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre trailer: See, that’s why I never leave New York. You never see crazy motherfuckers like that in New York…except for niggas on the train.
–Regal Cinemas, Court St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Clitoris Rex
Little girl: There’s a lot of people in this New York City!
–Times Square
Guy #1: Yeah, I was reading this Jehovah’s Witness pamphlet this morning, and apparently they believe that only 144,000 people will get into heaven. The rest don’t go to hell; they’re just unconscious.
Guy #2: That doesn’t sound so good. You gotta think, out of the 144,000 least sinful people on Earth, most of ’em are going to be ugly. I’d rather be unconscious with the hot chicks.
–Broad St
Overheard by: anotherKnight
Little boy, waiting in line to see “Bodies” exhibit: Are there gonna be rides?
–South Street Seaport
Little girl, playing with her inattentive mother’s cell: Nine… One…
–Atlantic Center, Brooklyn
Overheard by: wee e
Little girl, humming to herself: Cat cat dog, I am a tree! Eeeee! Minute Maid Coke, I am a poodle! Eeeee!
–Brooklyn bound Q train
Little boy: Eddie, I like that torture a lot!
–Dizzy’s, 9th St & 8th Ave, Park Slope
Little girl: Mom, I am highly disappointed in the construction.
–71st Rd, Forest Hills
3-year-old girl: Daddy, does this helmet make me look crazy?
–13th & University
Little boy: Simon says reach into everybody’s pants!
–Waiting room, Mt. Sinai Hospital
Overheard by: Jobee
Mom: Honey, don’t go that far! You’re making me nervous!
Boy: Mom, I never get kidnapped! [Keeps walking away] God!
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Cappy
