Meatheads

Long haired guy: Jung would say I have a very low sensate rating.
Meathead: What? So you're retarded?

–Greenpoint, Brooklyn

Mystified/amused pot dealer, as two jocks jog past him after sunset: They just runnin'! No cops, no robbers, no cowboys, no Indians, nothing blowin' up. They just runnin'!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: innocent bystander

Dad to three-year-old boy learning to how to swing: Well, maybe if you were in better shape, this would be easy for you. You need to work on your abdominals.

–Rckefeller Park

Overheard by: Maria

White buff guy, during spin class: I need to do some serious laundry, so I only had the one clean towel. If ya can't get one, I can always just give you mine and do my usual air dry jumping jacks for the insane amount of fems they have in the locker room over there. But apparently I have a bad-case-of-gay-face, because they look at me like a fat kid in front of the tasty delight window.

–29th St & Lexington

Overheard by: Lace

Suit to another: I wish I could bench press the sins of the world!

–74th St & Broadway

Girl in short skirt and stilettos: Did we just power-strut too far?

–PATH

Red beard hipster: We thought we lost you guys.
Methhead ditz hipster: No, we went down that street.
Red beard hipster: Oh, that street.
Methhead ditz hipster: No, not that street, that street.
Red beard hipster: Oh, cool.

–McDonald's

Overheard by: BigKahuna&BigRed

Meathead #1: Hey, if we went camping and got really drunk, and you woke up with a used condom in your ass, would you tell anyone?
Meathead #2: Ummmm no. I don't think I would.
(five minutes later)
Meathead #1: Wanna go camping?

–C Train

College meathead #1: You don’t think generally the size of the person is the size of the dick?
College meathead #2: Nah, I mean how could you prove that?
College meathead #3: Dude, why do you think babies’ dicks are so small?

–Fordham University

Overheard by: sromeo

Jock #1: Man I would be pissed, too, if there was poo-poo in my shoe-shoe.
Jock #2: Yeah, dude. Totally.

–Manhattan College, Bronx

Party girl, looking at police on horses: I want to take a horse to the Upper East Side!
Jock: You’re going to the Upper East Side? Want to share a cab?
Party girl: Sure.
Jock: Want to fuck?
Party girl: Sure.

–21st & 6th

Overheard by: wish i had asked her

Gym rat #1: Yeah, I go to a great gym… And it’s not a fashion show like other places — people are there to work out.
Gym rat #2: Yeah?
Gym rat #1: Yeah. And the girls there? Oh, man, they are so hot. That is the best thing about it.

–6 train platform, Union Square

Overheard by: rory solomon

Jock: Hey, you got a haircut.
Bored pal: Yeah, I did.
Jock: You don’t look like a lesbian anymore.
Bored pal: No, I don’t look like a lesbian.
Jock: Now you just look like a scary gay.

–Gym class, Bronx High School of Science

Overheard by: Lillian

Meathead #1: Yeah, I definitely think I should go to the interview hung over.
Meathead #2: Why’s that?
Meathead #1: You know, so I’m more charming and likable.
Both meatheads: Definitely!

–6th St & Ave A

Overheard by: my approach is all wrong