Middle-aged man: The hell makes you think I'm following you?
MILF with baby: Oh, I dunno. Maybe because every time I turn around, you're standing there with that stupid, constipated look on your face!
–JFK
Overheard by: Sketch
Middle-aged man: The hell makes you think I'm following you?
MILF with baby: Oh, I dunno. Maybe because every time I turn around, you're standing there with that stupid, constipated look on your face!
–JFK
Overheard by: Sketch
Man: So, whatever you want to do, I’ll do.
Woman: But…
Man: I’m fine doing whatever makes you happy.
Woman: But that’s stupid.
–Starbucks, 87th & Lexington
Jamaican man, talking to himself: At the next stop I'm going to be white with blue eyes and blond hair.
Trashy, red-lipsticked middle-aged white woman with blue eyes and blonde hair: I can tell you from experience it's not all that.
–Downtown N Train
Overheard by: veronica
Volunteer: So, what do you want to be for Halloween?
Seven-year-old-boy: I was thinkin I'd be a gangsta…or Peter Pan.
–Shelter, the Bronx
Black lady: Listen, you camel jockey, I don’t care what you say, you was wrong to do that!
Middle Eastern man: Oh, shut up, you stupid nigga! I’m tired of hearing your shit! Go fuck yourself!
Black woman passerby: Oh my god, who the hell are you to be talking to my beautiful black sister like that?! You ain’t got no right to talk to anybody black like that!
Black lady: Bitch, who the shit are you? Don’t be talkin’ to my husband like that!
–W 4th St station
Overheard by: Mawg Spawn
Cashier: Can you spell your name, please?
Man: … Ummm… yes.
Cashier: I meant, can you spell it for me?
–Beacon’s Closet, Park Slope
Overheard by: meyers of keswick
Man #1: Oh, you know what you could do is eat a bunch of rice and beans and then shit it out, and you could make bricks out of it.
Man #2: Yeah, some day…
–Elevator, 36 W 25th St
Overheard by: Francine
Suit to another: He was just lucky not to be fucking someone in his family!
–Trump Building
Overheard by: Guess I'm lucky too
Gamer on headset: Dude, you are not listening to me. You can't hear me. You know why? Because you have no ears. You're the product of two retarded cousins fucking each other.
–Queens
Girl: He looks like my uncle… the one I'm really attracted to.
–Governors Island ferry
Overheard by: boring
Male passerby: I wouldn't fuck my family, but…
–4th Ave & 11th St
Overheard by: Jessica
British professor wearing bow tie: It's fascinating just how exciting incest is!
–Silver Center, NYU
Dad: Okay, girls! Now, we’re on a very tight budget — you can get ketchup, mustard, or barbecue sauce.
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: bill R
Girl: Apparently I ate an entire jar of mustard.
–Bard High School Early College
Overheard by: and didn’t notice?
Hot guy on cell: That’s fine, but I just don’t want to find the television smeared with peanut butter this time…
–96th & CPW
White chick: La Choy is the white trash of soy sauce!
–113th St
Overheard by: Meister E.
Man to hobo: If I had any more butter, I would give it to you, but I don’t because I used it already.
–Howard St
Overheard by: havarthe
Foxy lady, to female dining companion: I could pour ketchup in your cleavage and dip a fry in it… Just dip it in! Why are people staring at us?
–Relish, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Justin Casement
