Mother: Don’t you ever do that again! [slaps child hard]Child, calmly: Well, are you happy with yourself?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Miranda
Mother: Don’t you ever do that again! [slaps child hard]Child, calmly: Well, are you happy with yourself?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Miranda
Little kid: But what if we don’t have enough money?
Mother: And that’s the reason why you need to keep your four-year-old concerns to your damn self.
–Dekalb & South Portland, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Zoe
Little girl: Mommy, can you go to the hospital and get me a baby sister?
Mother: Go ask daddy.
–Central Park
Overheard by: hbs
Mom, to two young kids: …so she grabbed the scissors for self defense, and she stabbed him twice in the back.
–106th & Broadway
Overheard by: inge
Woman: I thought you liked the smell of poop?
Little girl: Only fresh poop!
–118th & Malcolm X
Overheard by: sk
Chick: Then he peer-pressured me into being morbidly obese!
–1 train
Girl on cell: Nothing’s bigger than Oprah, not even my mother’s ass!
–Ocean Pkwy and Neptune Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld
Dude with flyers: New York Sports Club! Only 37 dollars! Get yo’ fat ass to the gym!
–Court & Joralemon, Brooklyn
Overheard by: elwood
Little boy: Mommy, I’m sick of all the fat girls in Coney Island.
–Queens Center Mall
Walking VD: It’s not cheating if she’s fat.
–Outside Jugo Juice, Times Square
Teen girl on cell: Ugh, great. Now she’s just going to make fun of me because I’m short and fat! Oh my God!
–Q46 bus
Overheard by: Melissa
A crazy lady is walking down the street screaming to herself.
Little girl: Mommy, why is that lady yelling?
Mom: I don’t know, sweetheart.
Little girl: I think she needs a nap.
–19th & 5th
Overheard by: mic
Long Island mother: It’s so sad about the kidnapped Israeli solider.
8-year-old son: Yeah, when are they going to send Jack Bauer into Gaza to save him?
–40th & 8th
Overheard by: jewish boy
Mother, passing vendor cart: Wow, that smells good! That’s the only thing here that smells good. That meat could be pussy and, smelling that good, I’d eat it! [They pass a fish stand.] Dammit! My twat smells better than that!!
–Canal St
Overheard by: The Un-Tourist
Tween boy: Mom! Let’s go already!
Mom: If you’re so bored, go play in traffic.
–Victoria’s Secret, Lincoln Center
