Short haired woman: You didn't see in the car?
Little girl: No, no! Tell me, tell me!
Short haired woman: Ask your mother.
Mother: It was like an elephant exploded diarrhea all over the seat.
Little girl: I wanna see! I wanna see!
–A Train
Short haired woman: You didn't see in the car?
Little girl: No, no! Tell me, tell me!
Short haired woman: Ask your mother.
Mother: It was like an elephant exploded diarrhea all over the seat.
Little girl: I wanna see! I wanna see!
–A Train
Son: It is cold, like Canada!
Mom: You've never been to Canada.
Daughter: Don't talk about Canada.
–Spanish Harlem
Overheard by: Jaina
Middle school girl on Nextel: Hi mom.
Mom (from Nextel): Hello?
Girl (into Nextel): Yeah, mom. Hello? I am on my way home.
Mom (from Nextel): Where are you?
Girl (into Nextel): I am just getting off the bus right now.
–Target, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Lynda
Ghetto mother to obnoxiously loud child: Stop it! Stop it! I said stop it! Oooh, girl I am gonna sell yo ass for a Lexus and a mansion if you don't stop!
–L Train
Mother to small child lagging behind: Do you want to go home with another family?
–South St Seaport
Overheard by: shopgirl
Grandmother to small grandson: You went potty, Nietzsche? That's very good. Nana is coming over later, Nietzsche.
–Carl Schurz Park
Mother, to kid peeing on street: Michael, we don't pee on other people's doors!
–Central Park West
Overheard by: Nikki
Mother, to kid looking at toys: It's not a toilet, it's to make cupcakes.
–Toys "R" US, Times Square
Overheard by: Howie
Father, to five-year-old son: I had no idea you liked AC/DC!
–Penn Station
Mother, to son in stroller watching two shady characters: Oh, a drug deal! Sam*, your first drug deal encounter.
–81st & Amsterdam
Overheard by: andrew daly
40-something Spanish woman to 15-year-old son: What kind of a retard are you? You're just like your father!
(son looks around nervously)
Father, standing next to her: Wait, what?
–Canal & Centre
Overheard by: Einstien
Little girl: Mommy, you can bite my ear.
Ghetto mama: Huh?
Little girl: You want to bite my ear?
Ghetto mama: No!
Little girl: Come on mommy, bite my ear!
Ghetto mama: Goddamn it child, no!
–6 Train
Overheard by: Barnard girl
Five-year-old girl: Mommy! Taking the train is fun! It's like going to the zoo! (points to several rats on the tracks)
Mother: Yes darling, just remember it's not a petting zoo! (frantically pulls her daughter away from the platform).
–Pacific St N Line
30-something guy to another: She works for Sesame Street so she gets a lot of free underwear.
–Brooklyn Label, Greenpoint
Girl: Yeah, dude. She wasn't wearing any underwear so everyone was trying to pull down her skirt!
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Mollie
Tourist mom in matching pink jumpsuit, struggling with too many children: Oh my Jesus, I wore the wrong thong today!
–42nd St
Overheard by: Emily
Puzzled hipster on cell: Wait…how did wearing a thong fuck up her eye?
–7th St & Ave A
Hipster girl on cell: Did you get your underwear? Lindsey! Goddamn it! "Eat" sounds nothing like "get!" Fuck! What? Fuck you, bitch! Taste of my own medicine, bullshit! I heard nothing about gnawing on my own underwear!
–Baskin-Robbins, Mulberry
Overheard by: Hana
Very blond mother pushing baby carriage, on cell: I don't care, we've talked about this! Don't fucking touch my underwear!
–20th St & 7th Ave
Mom to tween daughter: Are you mad at me?
Tween daughter: No, I'm not mad at you.
Mom: Why aren't you mad at me? You have every right to be.
–NJ Transit
Mother: You sent 340 text messages and went over the plan. You owe me $10.
Daughter: Can I have $10?
Mother: Sure. (hands daughter $10)
Daughter: Here! (hands mother $10)
–Outside St. James Theatre
