Tween boy, interrupting conversation with German girl: Wait! Do you live near the autobahn?
German girl: What?
Tween boy: The autobahn. It's like the parkway!
–22nd St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Tween boy, interrupting conversation with German girl: Wait! Do you live near the autobahn?
German girl: What?
Tween boy: The autobahn. It's like the parkway!
–22nd St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Suit #1: So my cousin in Scranton is also pregnant.
Suit #2: Yeah, what's the father like?
Suit #1: Complete loser.
Suit #2: Sucks, man. What does he do for work again?
Suit #1: Heroin.
–27th & 3rd
Overheard by: Chris Haddad
JAP #1: It's like seeing a midget in drag.
JAP #2: Oh, I've always wanted to see that.
–35th St & Lexington
Woman: You gotta eat just the whites. When bodybuilders eat five eggs, they eat just the whites.
Man: I'm not a bodybuilder.
–28th & 5th
20-something girl: I mean, I can always sleep on top of him.
–Strawberry's, Queens Centre Mall
Overheard by: i like that option…
Man to friend: I keep having dreams about being with other women, and I've never had them before. I think it must be the time of year or something.
–Hudson River Park
Girl on cell: Well, he slipped me Ecstasy while I was sleeping…
–23rd St & 8th Ave
Guy on cell: That's awesome! (pause) That's awesome! (pause) Dude, that's like reverse Sleepaway Camp!
–27th & 2nd
Overheard by: liz
Nurse: I just want to stop having dreams of him saying "pap-smear pap-smear pap-smear…"
–Columbia University
Overheard by: p y l
12-year-old boy #1: So, how tight do you wear your underwear?
12-year-old boy #2: Not that tight. I mean, I wear like boxers.
–34th & 5th
Three-year-old boy to mother: Mommy, there is a baby in your stomach that is making you throw up.
–G Train
Guy with hand over friend's mouth, encouraging him not to throw up: No! No! No!
–Q Train
Guy, pleading with girl: Don't go home. (pukes on self) Why do you have to go home?
–32nd St & Madison Ave
Man standing next to woman throwing up: Beans and rice… No, corn.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Julian
Shiksa: Is semen kosher for Passover?
Jewish girl: I think so. Sperm don't have hooves.
–23rd St & Lexington
Overheard by: Jason
Drunk girl in green #1: I'm not shit-faced.
Drunk girl in green #2: No? Then what are you?
Drunk girl in green #1: Oh! A green truck!
–Park Ave & 34th St
Overheard by: I saw it too.
(lady #2 hurriedly puts up umbrella when coming out of the station)
Lady #1: It's not raining–at all.
Lady #2: I don't care!
–22nd & 5th
