Nice People

Good Samaritan, rushing in: Chad told me to ask you for your first aid kit. Do you know Chad? Some lady got hit by a taxi!
Cashier: Yeah, he's our boss.
(they leave with kit, cook returns a few minutes later)
Cook: Yo, Chad's a hero. That woman's head was in a pool of blood. She's gonna need more than that first aid kit.
Cashier: It would be a guy named Chad who stops to help someone laying in the street. Most people see that and say “Yo, I gotta get to work.” You never see an Omar or Carlos stop to help someone. It would be a guy named Chad!

–Zen Burger, 45th & Lexington

Overheard by: – My friend Chad is serving in Iraq and is a hero too!

Young woman: Do you need help crossing the street?
Elderly woman: No. It's fucking red.

–96th & Broadway

Overheard by: Meghan

Hobo: I'm so hungry. I ain't eaten nothing since yesterday.
Kind-hearted woman: Here, take the other half of this sandwich.
Hobo: Sorry, I don't eat carbs. Those shits don't do nothing but make you fat.

–Ditmars & 31st, Astoria

Overheard by: Allison

Shop owner: Would you care to taste some wine?
Black woman (offended): No, I ain't tastin' no wine!

–Liquor Store, Brooklyn

Overheard by: thirsty wino

Guy at party: I'm known for my creepy hugs.

–16th St & Union Square

Overheard by: Kitty

Hobo: Okay, you know the drill. I'm hungry, give me money so I can buy breakfast.
(nobody does) Alright, if you don't want to give any money, if you're reasonably attractive, hug a brotha! That works too.

–F Train

Panhandler: Any little bit helps, folks. Pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters. If you don't have any money this morning and you're, like, really attractive, you can just give me a big hug and rub up on me a little bit, and we'll call it even.

–F Train

Overheard by: kdice

Woman's voice on public announcement system: You want me to hug you?

–Port Authority

Ghetto Latina, seeing MTA worker hug crying bag lady: Shit, I'm from the Bronx, born and raised, and I ain't never seen no subway man be giving out free hugs. I seen shouting matches, I seen drug deals, I seen fist fights, but I ain't never seen no free hugs in a subway station. That's some fuckin dedication right there.

–59th St. Subway Station

Overheard by: slc boy

Subway panhandler: If you don't have any food, but you do happen to be, like, incredibly good looking, I do accept hugs. (middle aged man with L.L.Bean backpack smiles and holds his arms open invitingly) I'll have to give you a raincheck on that one, sir.

–F Train

Overheard by: linda

Hobo: Hello.
Girl: Um… Hello.
Hobo: (gives girl some coins and smiles) You look like a nice girl. Don’t become a whore.
Girl: Um… Thanks, I guess.

–6 Train

Overheard by: April

Little girl, pointing at Andy Warhol portrait of Marilyn Monroe: Mommy, who’s that lady?
Mom: That’s Elizabeth Taylor, honey.
Little girl: Oh, hello, Elizabeth.

–The Moderne Hotel, 55th & Broadway

Bum: Have a happy Wednesday!
Suit: You too, sir.
Bum: You son of a bitch! That’s it; I’m not playing. I’m not playing this game anymore.

–Union Square West

Overheard by: Larry

Flyer guy, after trying to give suit a flyer: Hey man, nice tie.
Suit turns around: Thanks! Nice! [Looks flyer guy up and down.] Actually, you look like shit.

–71st & Continental, Forest Hills

Woman: Thank god it’s Friday!
Subway janitor: Actually, Friday is my Monday.
Woman: [Thinks for a while.] Well, how was your weekend?

–6 Train Station