Bank teller: What state was your account opened in?
Customer: Brooklyn.
–59th & Lex
Overheard by: Captain Finance
Bank teller: What state was your account opened in?
Customer: Brooklyn.
–59th & Lex
Overheard by: Captain Finance
Girl #1: Ever notice how tightly girls hold onto their boyfriends when they are walking through Chelsea?
Girl #2: Right? It’s like they’re afraid he’s going to run out into traffic and get hit by a truck.
–17th & 8th
Guy: How do you get to Astor Place?
Old man: You go up 2 blocks, make a left, then go fuck yourself.
–10th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: andy
British bitch on cell: I’m surrounded by fucking morons who probably struggled through the NYC school system. We all know New Yorkers are the dumbest. They can’t even read. They haven’t had a Latin education and they probably can’t even speak another language…I didn’t want to get a limo to take to the fuckin’ ghettos of Brooklyn. I didn’t want to take a cab because these uneducated people don’t understand directions. I didn’t want to spend $30 and not get to the right place…Please make sure my car gets fixed. I’ve been reduced to the humiliation of taking public transportation. Now the second part of my fucking nightmare begins. I have to take the subway! I’m dressed like a commoner. I didn’t want to wear a $5000 Chanel suit on a seat that hasn’t been cleaned…She’s letting us borrow her castle for our wedding. If they can’t afford to be there, they obviously don’t deserve to come.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Christine
Suit on cell: I swear, I’m going to make her the sorriest crippled girl in New York.
–Avenue C
Hipster on iPhone: Hello? I’m sorry. I can’t hear you–I have an iPhone.
–6th & 27th
Hipster girl to out-of-town friend: Sorry about the smell, this area just recently gentrified.
–Orchard Street b/w Broome & Grand
Loud, drunk, British girl to boyfriend: We don’t know each other’s minds -we can’t read each other’s minds! So when you do something I don’t like and I tell you and then later you do something I don’t like and I tell you again… Well that’s two sorries in one day! And "sorry" is just a word, but you’re learning about me! About my mind.
–Broadway & Waverly
Overheard by: rpk
Woman on cell: Oh sorry, I have to go. Remember that woman that got pregnant by a bear? Yeah, I just ran into her.
–Astor Place
Dominican to friend: And just wait until I tell them all he’s Dominican… he’ll really be sorry then!
–5th Ave, near Empire State Building
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Tourist man: Honey, is this Times Square?
Tourist wife: No, I think this is Union Square.
New Yorker: This is Herald Square. If you wanna go to Times Square, just walk north until you see all the lights and shit.
Tourist man: Thank you!
–33rd and 8th
Foreign 7th-grade boy: Where do you live?
Local 7th-grade boy: Harlem, have you ever heard of Harlem?
Foreign boy: No.
Local boy: Do you know McDonald's?
Foreign boy: Yes.
Local boy: That's where Harlem is.
–3 Train
Confused tourist: Excuse me, can you help us? We're trying to get to New York.
New Yorker: You are in New York.
Confused tourist: I'm sorry, I meant New York City.
–Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Outraged Brooklynite
Yuppie: People at South Africa talk so much less racist than in NY. Everyone tells many more racist jokes in New York than in South Africa.
–Sutton Place
Chick: So, now between me and the bus tour you have seen all of Manhattan.
Tourist friend: Yep, from tip to tip.
Chick: Well, you didn’t see the Statue of Liberty.
Tourist friend: That’s true… Where is it?
Chick: I just took my mom there last week — it’s on Staten Island.
–R train
