Bum: Can I get a smoke?
Well-dressed 20-something: Sure man. I just ate a girl out!
Bum: Did she cum?
20-something: I don't know, she didn't let me do it for very long. (bum walks away) I can still taste her perfume!
–Penn Station
Bum: Can I get a smoke?
Well-dressed 20-something: Sure man. I just ate a girl out!
Bum: Did she cum?
20-something: I don't know, she didn't let me do it for very long. (bum walks away) I can still taste her perfume!
–Penn Station
Father: …and a sugar cookie.
Barista: Which color?
Father (to son): Which color do you want? (to barista) Purple.
Seven-year-old son: No, pink!
Father: Okay.
Seven-year-old son: But that doesn't mean I'm gay.
–Starbucks, 23rd & 5th
Overheard by: Matthew K. Johnson
Underage brunette: So, do you want to go somewhere else? I kind of want to stay because that guy is so hot!
Underage blonde: No, I want to stay here because my ID works here and I'm afraid to go somewhere else. Yeah, he is hot, it's weird that he's ignoring you.
Underage brunette: I know, right? I just want to go home with him tonight.
Underage blonde: Well, when we hooked up we had sex four times that night, you know?
Underage brunette: Yeah, I guess I need to get a little more drunk. Let's go.
–Bathroom, Heartland Brewery, Empire State Building
Overheard by: nycResident
Guy in stall #1: Hey, can you pass me some toilet paper? There's none here.
Guy in stall #2: Sure. (pause) Here's a bit. It ain't much.
Guy in stall #1: I'll take whatever you can give me.
Guy in stall #2: Sure, I know how it is. (starts to sing) I know how it iiiiiis, to be stranded on the toilet bowwwwwl…
–Men's Restroom, Bryant Park
Girl: Hey…do you think that there's, like, pregnant porn out there?
Friend: You mean, porn, starring pregnant women?
Girl: Yeah.
Friend: That's gross. I don't even want to know.
Girl: Hmm… I think I'm going to look it up when I get home.
Friend: Can we please stop talking about this?
Girl: I'll send you some?
Friend (disgusted): Please. Don't.
–27th & 6th
Overheard by: sam
Old creepster: Do you have The Princess Bride?
Employee: Let me see. (goes to shelf) No, we don't have it.
Old creepster: It's the one that's got whatshername, Sean Wright Penn. It was the film that made her career.
Employee: Right, but…
Old creepster: She used to have hair down to her waist, but she had to cut it for this film. And the whole thing is a story told by Peter Falk, he's a pretty old guy…
Employee: Right, but we don't have it.
–Circuit City, 79th & Broadway
Overheard by: EthanK
Guy selling purses out of a suitcase: Coach, Gucci, Prada! Purses for cheap!
Tourist lady: Are these real?
Crowd of shoppers: (no response)
Tourist lady (louder): Are these real?
Crowd of shoppers: (no response)
Tourist lady: Did you steal these?
–Canal St.
Blue-haired hipster: Dude, could you spare some change? I just need a dollar to get somethin' off the dollar menu at McDonald's.
Yuppie: Dude, fuck you! You're not hungry! If you were hungry you wouldn't be dying your hair blue.
–St. Marks & 3rd
Guy #1: Can't believe there are so many cops out.
Guy #2: It's probably because of the 4th of July, you know, security threats, terrorism.
Drunk girl (shouts, pumps fist in the air): Oh yeah, terrorism!
Guy #2: Can you not do that 10 feet from those cops?!
Drunk girl: What, who cares? I'm white. It's ironic!
–W. 43rd & Broadway
Young mother: Yeah, she still talks like a baby. She still talkin' baby talk. Her favorite word is "bitch."
–C Train
Overheard by: Emily B.
Black chick on phone: So I asked that bitch and she said he's gonna be in the Special Olympics in Secaucus.
–33rd St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Jake
Conductor over PA system: Don't hold the doors, bitches!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Anna
Ghetto boyfriend to ghetto girlfriend: You know… You know that I luh' you, but I just wanna know, why you don't luh' me? Why, bitch, why?!
–Broadway & Canal
Overheard by: Aviva
Man on cell: It was a bad bitch? …a bad bitch?
–37th & Broadway
Girl to friend: …so then the guy turns the fuck around during "Chim chiminey" and just loses his shit on those two old bitches.
–24th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Viv
