Old lady in black and gold track suit: We're not lost, we're exploring.
Old lady in lavender track suit: I still think we're lost.
–Park Ave & 33rd St
Overheard by: Nikki
Old lady in black and gold track suit: We're not lost, we're exploring.
Old lady in lavender track suit: I still think we're lost.
–Park Ave & 33rd St
Overheard by: Nikki
Older, dirty-looking hobo: Hey, spare me some change, all I want tonight is a hooker and some malt liquor.
–Ave A & 4th St
20-something girl: Seriously! There is nothing better after a stressful day than stealing a car, picking up a hooker, taking her to the beach, fucking her, killing her, getting your money back and not getting arrested. Nothing!
–Underhill & St. Mark's, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Claire H.
Young woman to boss: If you don't give me more hours, I'mma have to start sellin' my pussy!
–Chelsea
Overheard by: Holly
Subway musician in drag the night before Valentine's Day: Be with the one you love! If you don't have anyone, then hire somebody! And keep your receipt!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Morning Glory
Musician on train platform: Everything gonna be alright! Get home safe, New York. Remember: if you see something, say something, don't keep it to yourself. And remember, New York, if you can't be with the one you love, pay someone! Keep all the receipts. I know what I'm talking about.
–B Train
Overheard by: Free Love
Girl: Is this tequila comparable to Jose?
Old wino: Uhh, ask Leonard, but be careful, he'll go on forever.
Girl: S'okay, I'll fake a seizure.
–Liquor Store, 53rd St & 2nd Ave
Old creepy guy: You're a pretty lady.
Random lady, walking by: Thanks
Old creep guy: I should kidnap you
–Tour De Brooklyn Rest Site
Overheard by: Amber
Old husband: Why don’t we have sex anymore?
Old wife: I do. You don’t. You sleep.
–Prince & Mercer
Old woman: Everyday I wake up is a good day.
(pause)
Old man: Everyday I get a boner is a good day.
–Grand Central
Hair lady: So how do you want it done?
Grandma: I want to have the same lining and density as that cute, little Chinese girl had.
Hair lady: It was a boy.
–Encore Beauty Salon, Claremont Drive
Overheard by: Maxym B
Old Man: They have salads here. Next time we should just come early and eat here.
Old Lady: Okay, we could try that next time.
Old Man: They have Caesar salads, and cobb salads, and pasta salads–
Old Lady: That sounds good. We’ll try it next time.
Old Man: –they have California salads, and tuna salads, and–
Old Lady: Okay, Harvey! We’ll eat here next time!
Old Man: …they have sandwiches, too.
–Avery Fischer Hall
Overheard by: Heather
Little boy: Hey mister, wanna hear a funny joke?
Old man: No.
Little boy: Okay, here it goes…A man walks into a bar…”Ouch!” Ha, ha, ha! Get it?
Old man: That’s the weakest shit I’ve ever heard.
–A train
Old lady #1: So I think maybe that’s the problem with New Yorkers.
Old lady #2: No decaf?
Old lady #1: Yep, no decaf. That’s the problem.
–Starbucks, 102nd & Broadway
