Doctor, in neighboring exam room: Now, after I give you these pills, you’re probably going to start peeing.
Old woman: I’m peeing now!
–Lennox Hill Hospital
Doctor, in neighboring exam room: Now, after I give you these pills, you’re probably going to start peeing.
Old woman: I’m peeing now!
–Lennox Hill Hospital
Old lady #1: Your grandson has not been with a girl in a while. He might be gay.
Old lady #2: Hey, he’s not gay, don’t be crazy. Your grandson needs to stop sleeping with every girl; he might get them pregnant.
Old lady #1: Hey, how much is this kielbasa?
Translated from the Russian.
–Grocery store, Bensonhurst
Overheard by: Steve
Older bag lady: How do you think mayor Bloomberg got so rich?
Woman with baby in stroller: I don't know. How?
Older bag lady: You think by being a slut?
Woman with baby stroller: Maybe.
Older bag lady: How do you think Oprah Winfrey got so rich?
Woman with baby in stroller: I don't know.
Older bag lady: You think by being a slut?
–Union Square
Overheard by: floridasunshine
Old lady #1: Hmmm, it’s sort of weird you don’t see a lot of Muslims decorating for Christmas, right?
Old lady #2: Yeah, I think it’s because a lot of them don’t live in the country.
–6 train
Overheard by: shortstack
Old black lady: Bus driver, you a dumb motherfucker! You just turned down the wrong street!
Man: Don’t worry, Mr. Bus Driver, I still have faith in you.
Old black lady, to man: Get your faggot-ass off the bus!
–8 bus, Bronx
Lady yelling at old guy: Where you goin’ today, Harold?!
Old man, smiling: You my wife?
–Q station, Cortelyou Rd, Brooklyn
Overheard by: cloisterpunk
Elderly woman: Come on now, we're disemboating…
Sassy son: “Disemboating”? How about “disembarking”? What are they teaching you at the home, English for Americans?
–Ferry to Governors Island
Overheard by: Loves to Disemboat and her colleague, Chronic Disemboater
Old guy: The Viagra’s working!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Robb Briggs
Old lady #1: I hate the back door.
Old lady #2: Me, too.
–Bronx Zoo
JAP on cell: If more people wore glitter there would no war.
–Therapy Store
Crazy old guy: I want a dog for president. You know why? Dogs don't start wars.
–31St & Ditmars, Astoria
Overheard by: Randi and Patrick
(at an anti-war rally)
Street vendor: Say no to war, say yes to Louis Vuitton!
–Midtown
Overheard by: Oh the irony
50-something guy on cell: You see, we are a military agency, not a government agency. (pause) So when I punched out that Homeland Security guy, I punched out a civilian.
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: Ksenia
Eight-year-old boy: I dare you to fight in the civil war!
–7 Train
