Mother to noisy, restless son: You know what? As soon as we get home I’m calling your doctor. You’re going back on medication.
Kid, screaming: Nooo! [Spotting boarding passenger] Oh, he has a wrestling shirt! I want a wresting shirt!
–M101 bus
Overheard by: Glad it’s not my kid
Woman #1: It was so funny. I mean I was talking to the horse in English, and the horse didn’t understand a fucking word I said.
Woman #2: It was a Spanish horse.
Woman #1: Even their dogs, they didn’t understand English. I don’t get that.
–QM2 bus
Overheard by: i’m mr.ed
Woman: Does this bus go to the Garden?
Bus driver: No, the M10 or 20 goes to Madison Square Garden.
Woman: Not that Garden; Olive Garden!
–M104 bus
Overheard by: Suzanne Cerquone
Girl #1: I heard there’s this restaurant that charges $500 for a plate.
Girl #2: Damn what they serving, human?
–Olive Garden, Times Square
Overheard by: Kyle
20-something dude to another: It's so hard to get laid in this city before 11 pm!
–M-15 Bus
Hottie: I am in New York City. You need to make $250,000 to live like a white person.
–28th & 29th
Overheard by: A black person from Chicago
20-something male to female: So you'd better be prepared. It's like the Times Square of New York.
–16th St & Union Square
Overheard by: Annie B
Middle-aged Hispanic dude to Indian salesperson: This is New York City. Nobody's gonna kill you, okay?
–Rite-Aid
Young gay man: That's what I hate about New York City. It's such a fucking small town.
–14th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: molls
Woman: So what I realized is that doing the right thing is always right.
Man: Yeah, but think about it. When you go to sleep tonight your conscience will be clean.
Woman: Yeah, I have a clean conscience with a foot up my ass.
–M11 bus
Overheard by: Stevo
Guy on cell talking loudly: Where the fuck are you, Emily? (pause) Are you shopping? Don't lie to me, Emily! I will come over there and fucking beat the dogshit out of you. (pause) I don't care if I go to jail, it will be worth it to slap your lying ass around. (pause) You don't buy me shit, Emily. Do you buy me my underwear? No! Do you buy me socks? No! I do. What about all those purses and shoes you have? Me!
Random Dominican teenage girl: Damn, Emily really don't buy him nothing.
–Lucky Star Bus
Overheard by: chinatown bus traveler
Little boy, passing gym: Oooh, they’re doing exercises in an exercises store!
Little girl: Is that their job?
Mother: I told you to stop asking so many damn questions!
–B51 bus, Brooklyn
Teenager #1: Yo, we gotta do that thang again.
Teenager #2: What thing?
Teenager #1: Yo remember that time we was with Angie, me and you?
Teenager #2: Oh yeah son, that was crazy.
Teenager #1: Yeah, I felt your dick on my butt, son!
–B60 Bus
Guy on cell: Suppose there is no god. (pause) Hello? Can you hear me? Suppose there is no god. (pause) Hello? Hello? Can you hear me?
–Bus
Overheard by: Is God trying to tell you something?
Intense man, grasping woman's shoulders: God wanted me to, and I was ready to.
–Near Riverside Church, Morningside Heights
Overheard by: I wish I knew more
Guy, in awed tones, hearing "Le nozze di Figaro" through open window: It's like the voice of God…
–The Bronx
Overheard by: ground floor music lover
Crazy man: There is only one God. There is only one real deal. I can't afford sex anymore.
–Outside Penn Station
Overheard by: That took a turn
Girl #1: What’s cunnilingus?
Girl #2: It’s like when a guy blows you.
Girl #1: It’s a gay blow job?
–B44 bus
Overheard by: Sergey
