Wednesday One-Liners Are the New Black

Guido: I love these jeans. They’re so comfy-womfy.

–R train, Court St

Teen girl: Tissues are so overrated. That’s what long-sleeved shirts are for. That’s why no one wears short-sleeved shirts!

–TGIFriday, 42nd St

Conductor: Down coats are very poofy. Please pull them in from the doors.

–Crowded F train

Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.

Puking guy, using hat to catch his vomit: I don’t think I’m ever gonna be able to wear this hat again. It was a good hat.

–A train

Overheard by: Joseph

Teen girl, about gift for boyfriend: Can you imagine me getting him a sweater that’s too small and going, ‘Oh, it’s too small? I’ll take it!’

–R train

Chick: She was a tasteful goth… but she was wearing a cape.

–4th & Lafayette

Posted on July 17, 2023
Clothing, Compliments, Conductors, Default, Gifts, Girls, Gripes, Guidos, Guys, Health and Hygiene, On the Subway, Restaurants & Cafes, Teens, The Village, Vomit, Words

I Miss This

Chick: Since we broke up you’ve been smoking a lot.
Guy: Yeah…
Chick: You shouldn’t smoke.
Guy: You shouldn’t suck so much dick but you don’t hear me criticize you five times a day.
Chick: [Mouth wide open in shock.]Guy: To start you should try closing your mouth!

–B Train

Overheard by: another now single smoker

Posted on July 12, 2023
Advice, BJs, Body Parts, Breaking Up, Default, Girls, Guys, On the Subway, Smoking, Violence, Weirdness

What Kind Of Girl Do You Take Me For?

Frat dude to girlfriend, after 20 minutes of drunken heavy petting: So, are we gonna have some anal sex tonight?!
Drunk chick: I don't…really do that.

–D Train

Posted on July 11, 2023
Backdoor, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Girlfriends, Guys, On the Subway, Questions

Or Worse– A Republican

Child, reading: Be…kind…to…furry…
Mom: A-ni-mals.
Child: Why?
Mom: You have to be kind to all animals, so people don't think you're crazy and a psychopath.

–Q Train

Posted on July 10, 2023
Animals & Nature, Crazy, Kids, Moms, On the Subway, Questions

Trains and Trannies

Chick #1: What an asshole. Do I look like a transvestite?
Chick #2: No.
Chick #1: Sometimes when a woman is tall and she’s dressed like a woman, she really is a woman.
Chick #2: Unless you’re in Chelsea.

–1 Train

Posted on July 7, 2023
Assholes, Gays and Lesbians, On the Subway, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Women

Melonsday Jug-Liners

Middle-aged theatrical man, watching summer crowds: Ah! Manhattan in the summer… The hypnotic sway of the unfettered breast…

–Rockefeller Center

Woman on cell to friend: If I have hips this big and I haven't even had a kid, I'm getting boobs. I just want a nice round c cup!

–14th St & 10th ave

Overheard by: adam

Girl to boyfriend, after putting cell phone in her jacket: Yeah… That's not a pocket, that's my tit.

–L Train

Overheard by: TR

Guy on cell phone: What's up, biscuit-tits?

–21st St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Steve

16-year-old girl to buxom pal: Your breasts are a personal attack on me!

–F Train

Overheard by: wish i was being attacked

Posted on July 5, 2023
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Boob Job, Boyfriends, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Friends, Girls, Kids, Men, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Nicknames & name calling, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Paranoia, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Rack, Rockefeller Center, Sensory Experiences, Street, Teens, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

He's in the Running for This Year's Scariest Voicemail Award

Man on cell: I will fuck you up. I will fuck you up, man. Do you even know I will fuck you up? Don't fuck with me, man, I will fuck you beyond fucked up. You are so fucked up when I see you next. Fuckin' bitch, fuck up. I will fuck you for fucking me, you fucking bastard. Fuck this shit, you fucking cock bitch.

–N Train

Posted on July 3, 2023
Insults, Men, On Cell, On the Subway, Threats, Violence

There's Always Tension Between Tradition and Modernity

Queer: I hate that I missed your birthday.
Artsy girl: Brad, you were at my 21st birthday party. You gave me that paint-it-yourself Menorah.
Queer (laughing): Oh yeah… Did you ever paint it? Do you still have it?
Artsy girl: Actually, it broke. Lee gave me these thongs as a present, and they somehow got all tangled up and it fell…
Queer: Wait… Are you telling me my Menorah died by thong?

–M Train

Overheard by: Not such a bad way to go