The NYC Cast of Characters in: Wednesday One-liners

Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, all cars on this train are going to final destination: Parkchester. All cars will be making all stops.

–6 train

Newspaper vendor: Yo! Suits! Go get me that deal…or else! I mean right now, go get it done!

–41st & 6th

Overheard by: M. Hutchinson

Tourist on cell: Of course I know where we are. We’re near Broadway Street. No, no, wait. Broadway Avenue.

–57th & Broadway

Overheard by: Karyn Regal

Petitioner: Please help us save the filibuster!

–West 66th & Broadway

Overheard by: Todd Seavey

Subway salesman: …and thank you for helping me keep a roof over my head. I mean three roofs: I live in the basement.

–Q train

Metro New York guy: Free paper! Get your free paper!…Man, I’m sick of this shit.

–Union Square

Metro New York guy: Shit, man, I’m tired of sayin’ this!…Okay, fine. Good mornin’. Good mornin’. Shit.

–Park Place station

Posted on March 23, 2015
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, All Wednesday One-Liners, Only in New York, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

…Well? Where's My Applause?

Rushed New Yorker shoving through tour group: Excuse me, excuse me…
Tour guide: Don't worry, folks, most New Yorkers aren't this rude.
Rushed New Yorker: Screw you! Yes we are, that's what everybody loves about us.

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: I agree

Posted on March 9, 2015
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Bryant Park, Insults, Love, Only in New York, Tourists

Like That Awesome Hobo Who Urinated on Us Earlier!

Tourist: I read about this place in that New York book I got from the library.
Guy in line: Did it also tell you that when it's a full moon everything is half off?
Tourist to friend: Dude! We should just both get the large, then.
Friend: I love this town and its little quirks like this.

–Gray's Papaya

Posted on March 8, 2015
Books & Writing, Friends, Guys, Love, Only in New York, Restaurants & Cafes, Strangers, Tourism, Tourists

NewsFlash: New Yorker “Tries to Be a Kinda Nice to People.”

Nerdy guy #1 to barista: Thanks.
Nerdy guy #2, sincerely: Wow, that was nice.
Nerdy guy #1: Well, every now and then I try to be kinda of nice to people, ya know?
Nerdy guy #2: I hear that, heat on 'em and then beat on 'em.
Nerdy guy #1: Mmm-hmm.

–Starbucks

Posted on March 7, 2015
Anger Management, Baristas, Nerds, Only in New York, Starbucks

Like “Aloha,” It Can Mean Hi, Goodbye, or I Love You

Female tourist: Look–he just gave the other driver the finger!
Male tourist: Isn't that just like saying “hi” in New York?

–72nd St & Central Park West

Overheard by: Gazoo

Posted on March 6, 2015
Cars and Driving, Insults, Language Barrier, Only in New York, Questions, Tourism, Tourists, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

In a New York State of Mind

Woman #1: Don’t you hate taking the train so early in the morning? I take it every day.
Woman #2: Could you not talk to me?

–A train

Overheard by: aida

Posted on February 24, 2015
Anger Management, Brooklyn, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Movies, Only in New York, Pop Culture, Trains Not Subway, Travel

Wednesday One-liners Eat Churro

Woman on cell: Yeah, I have to go. I’m too distracted on the phone, and I don’t trust anyone in this terminal. People are speaking Spanish behind me, if you know what I mean.

–LaGuardia

Posted on February 15, 2015
At the Airport, Brooklyn, Fashion, Language Barrier, Manhattan, Mexicans, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Only in New York, Retail Therapy, Stupidity, Teens, The Bronx, The Village, Tourists, White People

Like, What Are His Political Leanings?

Charity volunteer: Would you like to sponsor this child?
Grumpy man: I got three kids at home, and besides, I never even met this bastard!

–Broadway at City Hall

Overheard by: Darrin

Posted on February 12, 2015
Insults, Kids, Men, Nice People, Offers and requests, Only in New York, Strangers, Subway stations, platforms, etc.

If You're Wednesday and You Know It, Clap Your One-Liners

Young black lady to friend: I am so happy this is my last week! I hate New York City! Everybody is so rude! Today I nearly punched somebody in the face!

–Elevator, Midtown

Overheard by: thorn

Metro guy, singing: If you're happy and you know it, get a paper. If you're happy and you know it, get a paper. If you're happy and you know it, and you really want to show it. If you're happy and you know it, get a Metro.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: erkala

Six-year-old boy to mom: The things in cave paintings don't always look happy.

–81st & 1st

Overheard by: Tim

Obvious lawyer, on Yom Kippur: My finger is happy to have the day off.

–32nd St & Park Ave

Overheard by: k

Posted on February 12, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Body Parts, Elevators, Free stuff!, Friends, Gripes, Happiness, Holidays, Kids, Lawyers, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Murray Hill and Gramercy, One-liners, Only in New York, Penn Station, Punch, Singing, Upper East Side, Vendors & Street Performers, Visual Art, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

You Know the Deal. You Finish Last.

Woman blocking sidewalk for filming: Please wait two minutes. Just two minutes.
Woman barging through crowd: I didn't know this was a congregation area! (curses at woman blocking crowd)
Polite girl: Since the asshole got through, can the nice people go through?

–Bleecker St

Posted on February 1, 2015
Assholes, Girls, Insults, Nice People, Only in New York, Questions, Street, Women

Only in New York