Girl #1: I just want to send her a message with a list of all the reasons I hate her.
Girl #2: I know, I know! Make number one on the list how immature she is.
–Park Slope Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ryan
Girl #1: I just want to send her a message with a list of all the reasons I hate her.
Girl #2: I know, I know! Make number one on the list how immature she is.
–Park Slope Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ryan
Man: That's why I make you guys take your shoes off when we get into the house. When I was a kid, people would make their dogs poop on the street, so you had to watch where you step when crossing the street. Now it's just everywhere, all over the sidewalks.
Kid: Ew!
Man: They outta call this “Park Poop” instead of Park Slope.
Kid: Poop Slope!
Man: Haha, yeah, Poop Slope! Whoa, did you see that? That was a big one, like from a Great Dane or something!
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Overheard by: elaisted
Preteen girl #1: I love our names. Can you imagine if you were named something boring, like Sarah?
Preteen girl #2: I know, right?
Preteen girl #1: It's like, you call a friend and she tells you she's on the other line with Sarah and you're like “Which Sarah? A, b, c, d or e?” and she tells you, “No, Sarah R.”
Preteen girl #2: Ugh. That reminds me. I hate Sarah R.
–7th Ave, Park Slope
Hipster teenage girl: Yeah, trust me you'd know if you'd seen me disgruntled.
Hipster teenage boy: I haven't?
Hipster teenage girl: Nope. Well…talking online, maybe.
Hipster teenage boy: Oh, you're always disgruntled online. You always have some huge, massive crisis.
Hipster teenage girl: Oh yeah, once I was really pissed off at you. I scream a lot when I'm disgruntled.
Hipster teenage boy: At me?
Hipster teenage girl: No, just in general. At my room mostly.
(long pause)
Hipster teenage girl: I'm bored. Let's go to my house and do some lines!
–Park Slope
Girl on cell: My ex-boyfriend used to call the subway "The MTA," and I was like, "Yeah…this isn't working out."
–Penn Station
Overheard by: I would've dumped him too
Teenager on cell: If, hypothetically, what we had been doing was dating, then technically, hypothetically, he just broke up with me. Fucking douche.
–Finacial District
Cute girl: Don't you know the rules of break-ups? You have to clean out the drawer. You can't bring old lube to a new relationship.
–Essex & Grand
Overheard by: yaletownkid
Guy to friend: So you're telling me that I broke up with her because of lube?
–Park Slope
Guy on cell: Look, I know I said "forever." It's not your fault! To be honest, I just never really liked you that much!
–West 4th St. Subway Entrance
Preppy boy: That was the worst part about breaking up with my ex-girlfriend. She got a 50% discount at Polo!
–Bloomingdale's
Middle-aged lady to guy handing out Obama and McCain condoms: Now I've got something to play with tonight! All I need is a man.
–42nd & Broadway
Overheard by: I Hate Times Square
30-something dad on cell pushing small child in stroller: You know, I'm all in favor of that Plan B medication.
–Park Slope, Prospect Park
Overheard by: Alex
Girl in elevator to friend: I don't even know why you need condoms, they break anyway. But I didn't get pregnant!
–Pratt Institute, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Kar
Guy at the sidewalk: Anybody wants McCain, Obama and Palin condoms? McCain, Obama and Palin condoms…get it here! Because either way, you're screwed!
–Times Square
Overheard by: non voter
Girl to bartender: Can I get some of those condoms? (bartender takes out two) I mean, like a bunch? I'm a big dirtbag.
–Boss Tweeds
Suit on cell: You just wrap it in duct tape and put a condom on it.
–7th St & Ave A
Overheard by: Karmenlara Seidman
Guy: Jimmy wrote a rap.
Girl: Is it good?
Guy: It was… “I'ma fuck her, I'ma fuck her, I'ma fuck her, I'ma fuck her in different ways.”
Girl: Oh.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Alex Berger
Thug: Hello ladies–give me some money, come on, show me what your workin' with!
Girls: Sorry.
Thug: If I had money I'd buy a box of frosted flakes, organic milk and you two on the side. Yeehaaa!
–Keyfoods, 5th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: Elspeth Tremblay
Older woman, enunciating precisely: I could never understand wanting to have a penis. I know *I* never wanted one.
–Hudson St
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Chick: Don't you feel better knowing your cock is better than fermented squid guts?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Guy to friend: And then it just popped out of the bag–you know, kind of like a penis pops out!
–Dunkin Donuts
Blond: But baby, the only thing that rhymes with penis is "mm mm good"!
–Restaurant, Brooklyn
Overheard by: what rhymes with vajay?
Little boy: (gibberish gibberish gibberish) Penis! (gibberish gibberish gibberish) Penis!
–Downtown N Train
Brunette NYU student: You know when like people in junior high ask you what you'd do if you had a penis for a day? I'd always say "piss in a soap dispenser."
–W 3rd b/w 6th & MacDougal
Overheard by: Alan
Chunky lady to skinny friend who ordered a Diet Coke: Bitch, I will slap the shit out of you with this pizza…I'll eat it, too. I don't even care.
–14th St b/w 3rd & 4th Ave
Wasted guy, placing order: A slice of pizza on the rocks.
–1st Ave & 20th St
Overweight Paris Hilton wannabe, loudly on cell: No, the food wasn't like, out of this world, like what I'm used to. No…not really. I'd say more like a touch of Greece–with maybe Turkish or Egyptian. I mean, it's almost impossible to find a good slice of pizza in the city nowadays.
–Crowded LIRR Train
Overheard by: CV
little girl to parents: I like mine with salt, pepper and bone.
–La Rocca's Pizzaria, Staten Island
Overheard by: Dawn D.
Female suit to friends: Oh no, I can't. I save my pizza binge-eating for when I'm drunk.
–Ave of the Americas
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Tourist: Oooh, there's a really good pizza place down here somewhere, Sbarro.
–Basement, Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: pop pop
Six-year-old to friends: We should have an Obama pizza party!
–Park Slope
