Fashionista guy: Did you hear about Ange?
Fashionista girl: No, what?
Fashionista guy: She’s pregnant!
Fashionista girl: Oh my god! The whole world is pregnant!
Fashionista guy: Seriously.
–Midtown elevator
Fashionista guy: Did you hear about Ange?
Fashionista girl: No, what?
Fashionista guy: She’s pregnant!
Fashionista girl: Oh my god! The whole world is pregnant!
Fashionista guy: Seriously.
–Midtown elevator
Yuppie: I just really hate the Garden State mentality.
–West Village
Cashier #1: I’m sorry, what kind of drink do you want?
Cashier #2: He said fruit punch. There’s a time to work and a time to think!
–Popeye’s, 34th St.
Hipster Art Guy #1: I’m working conceptually.
Hipster Art Guy #2: Cool. How’s that going?
–Chelsea
Overheard by: Magpie
Old Southern Man: …so I said, if yer stoopid, you shouldn’t try and show it; you should try and hide it.
–Soho
NYU Guy: I didn’t wear my moccasins today, Arthur, and I’m still freezing!
–W. 13th St.
Overheard by: Dan Winckler
Teenage girl: You know you're from New York when you've never been to the Empire State Building.
Mother, after pause: Oh, yeah…
–Mulberry St
Overheard by: Lindsey
Female student on cell: We don't know anything until we know something.
–Columbia University
Balding middle aged man guiding middle aged woman down stairs: Step, step, step, step. Flat, flat, flat, flat. Step…
–Columbia
Yoga instructor to skinny college girl: Turn your head to the left. Turn your head to the left. The left. The left. The left. Your other left. I know you go to Columbia.
–Bikram Yoga, Harlem
Overcaffinated Columbia freshman girl to another: What do you mean your sociology textbook ate King Lear?
–Carman Hall, Columbia University
Overheard by: that would make it difficult to finish either reading
Subway philosopher: What's that?
Asian girl with Nintendo: A game.
Subway philosopher: A game? Ha! You want to hear the biggest game of all? Marriage. You heard of Grand Theft Auto? Grand Theft Marriage–you get a car and a house.
–Uptown F Train
Overheard by: Isabella
Girl on cell: Yeah, the breakup was tough, but I'm feeling good about it now! (pause) Hell, yes, I'm dating! (pause) Yeah, it's an exciting time! So much suspense, so many questions! Will he call me? Whom should I choose? Does he like me? Do I have syphilis?
–M4 Bus
Overheard by: All good questions
Drunk gay guy who just dropped lit cigarette: Shit! If I pick this up, do I have herpes?
–Waverly & University Place
Guy to friend: Nietzsche had syphilis… Why can't I?
–G Train
Woman at newsstand: Do you sell anything for herpes and cold sores?
–W 4th St
Overheard by: wow…i didnt kno they sold that her
Gay man to girlfriend: Is Mr Syphilis coming?
–24th & 2nd
Overheard by: erkala
Suit-in-training #1: Yeah, you go there and they just have you sign saying you took the class and give you the certificate, all done.
Suit-in-training #2: What's the class about?
Suit-in-training #1: Ethics, and all that bullshit stuff.
–R Train
Overheard by: Hal Shaw
