Idiot: Happiness is a sandwich.
–Quizno’s, 14th Street
Idiot: Happiness is a sandwich.
–Quizno’s, 14th Street
Bimbo: So are you ever going to move back to Europe?
Eurotrash: I was thinking about that a couple of times when I was really, really depressed in LA. American culture is such a product of the country.
–Soho
Fashionista guy: Did you hear about Ange?
Fashionista girl: No, what?
Fashionista guy: She’s pregnant!
Fashionista girl: Oh my god! The whole world is pregnant!
Fashionista guy: Seriously.
–Midtown elevator
Yuppie: I just really hate the Garden State mentality.
–West Village
Cashier #1: I’m sorry, what kind of drink do you want?
Cashier #2: He said fruit punch. There’s a time to work and a time to think!
–Popeye’s, 34th St.
Hipster Art Guy #1: I’m working conceptually.
Hipster Art Guy #2: Cool. How’s that going?
–Chelsea
Overheard by: Magpie
Old Southern Man: …so I said, if yer stoopid, you shouldn’t try and show it; you should try and hide it.
–Soho
NYU Guy: I didn’t wear my moccasins today, Arthur, and I’m still freezing!
–W. 13th St.
Overheard by: Dan Winckler
Teenage girl: You know you're from New York when you've never been to the Empire State Building.
Mother, after pause: Oh, yeah…
–Mulberry St
Overheard by: Lindsey
Female student on cell: We don't know anything until we know something.
–Columbia University
Balding middle aged man guiding middle aged woman down stairs: Step, step, step, step. Flat, flat, flat, flat. Step…
–Columbia
Yoga instructor to skinny college girl: Turn your head to the left. Turn your head to the left. The left. The left. The left. Your other left. I know you go to Columbia.
–Bikram Yoga, Harlem
Overcaffinated Columbia freshman girl to another: What do you mean your sociology textbook ate King Lear?
–Carman Hall, Columbia University
Overheard by: that would make it difficult to finish either reading
Subway philosopher: What's that?
Asian girl with Nintendo: A game.
Subway philosopher: A game? Ha! You want to hear the biggest game of all? Marriage. You heard of Grand Theft Auto? Grand Theft Marriage–you get a car and a house.
–Uptown F Train
Overheard by: Isabella
