Dude: If you weren’t Dan’s girlfriend, I would totally do you.
Chick, after long pause: I don’t know how to respond to that.
–Crowded Q101 bus
Overheard by: Kierstan
Dude: If you weren’t Dan’s girlfriend, I would totally do you.
Chick, after long pause: I don’t know how to respond to that.
–Crowded Q101 bus
Overheard by: Kierstan
Goofy guy, trying and failing to pick up a stranger: The thing is, I had a big fight with my girlfriend this morning.
Woman (about to get off bus): Oh, sorry. That's never easy…my advice to you is, reconcile.
Goofy guy: Yeah, well, but she's a little bipolar.
–Westbound 57 Bus
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Suit on phone: The dream was strange…we are in a library …I say something like "it's a liability." Then you said "your mom's a liability." That was it…I don't know.
–Gramercy Park
Overheard by: POLA
Young suit to another: The world is not your oyster!
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Amy
Suit to another, as 30-something woman in skirt and high heels passes by: Yowza! And that ends our case study!
–Madison Ave & 40th St
Overheard by: Casey
Stressed female suit: No one gives a fuck anymore. Everyone's just gonna do what they want. And any further complaints can be directed to my ass.
–University St b/w 8th & Waverly
Middle-aged Asian man in three-piece suit on cell: I mean, how can I live like Bond if I'm married?
–46th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: dr. no, i dont do
20-something female suit on cell: Baby, I would love to go to dinner, but you have two options: dinner or sex. I only have time for one.
–27th St & Park Ave
Guy: Hey, hey shortie with the red hair…Hey, I’m talkin’ to you!
Girl: Yeah, and I’m ignoring you.
–29th & 7th
Snooty alternative chick: So, for some reason I always get these creepy guys talking to me on the train. This one guy on the ride over here looked over at my iPod and I was listening to The Fall, right? And he’s like, ‘That’s an interesting song. It’s like punk, right?’ And so then he pulls out his iPod and starts trying to impress me with his shitty music list.
Alternative guy: What was on it?
Snooty alternative chick: Blink 182 and Good Charlotte and stuff… And it’s like, ‘Um, you’re a guy on the N train who started talking to me, you’re not gonna get in my pants… And you’re especially not gonna get in my pants if you don’t know who The Fall are! That’s totally a prerequisite.’
–Kim’s Video, St. Mark’s Pl
Guy Clubber: Hey, Shorty!!
Girl Clubber: Ya?
Guy Clubber: I just got to tell you that you have the best forehead I’ve ever seen…but don’t get too cute.
Girl Clubber: Umm…OK?
–Club NV, Soho
Overheard by: Debony Miller
Bling bling guy: It’s all real baby! It’s all real! You wanna see it? It’s all real! Maybe when you get some of your own, then you’ll know. It’s all real! Take a look!… I think I freaked her out, callin’ her out like that.
–Whitehall Street station
Guy to girl with afro crossing the street: Hey gorgeous! Gorgeous! Let me massage your kinky tips!
–8th Ave & W 4th
Comedy club promoter to hot girl: Hi, do you like comedy? (girl keeps walking) Okay, do you like skinny white guys then?
–42nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Galina
Young boy reading aloud in halting monotone: I like that outfit. It would look great crumpled up on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning. You have 206 bones in your body, want one more?
–Borders, Kips Bay
Overheard by: Emily
Fat white guy in Mets jersey to hot blonde: Hello, my name is Tom and I'm horny. (blonde keeps walking)
–Lexington & 50th
Black man to female passerby: S'cuse me miss… Not to seem rude, but to be honest…for a white girl, you got a nice butt.
–5th Ave
Conductor on PA: Ladies and gentlemen, this last weekend I went to a club…never again. I walked in, sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. I saw a beautiful lady across the bar, went up to her and said, "Where have you been all my life?" She said back to me "I think for the first half of your life, I wasn't born." This is 59th, Columbus circle, have a good day, ladies and gentlemen.
–A Train
Chick: We had a great sex life — fuckin’ all the time… Then I find out that he is calling the free exotic party line… I mean, all the time.
Dude: He’s a loser if he spends all his time doing it… Will you have sex with me now?
–2 train
Overheard by: aeongirl777
Large drunk black guy to black girl sitting down: Girl, you're so pretty, why are you frowning?
Black girl sitting down: Do me a favor, get up out my face.
(two large Hispanic men get up to protect her)
Large drunk black guy: Okay, I'm done…but I love you.
–2 Train
Overheard by: jj is sober at 10am
