Construction worker: Hey beautiful, you have a lovely day.
Young girl: I'm fourteen, you perv!
Construction worker: Ay, puta…
Young girl: And I speak Spanish!
–9th St & University
Construction worker: Hey beautiful, you have a lovely day.
Young girl: I'm fourteen, you perv!
Construction worker: Ay, puta…
Young girl: And I speak Spanish!
–9th St & University
Guy, bumping into girlfriend as bus lurches: Sorry baby, that’s gravity. I can’t help it, I’m physically attracted to you.
–M116 Bus
Overheard by: I hate the bus
Construction worker hitting on young girl: Hey baby, you are too cute to be so pretty!
–Allen & East Houston
Black bag seller to passerby: Hey sweetheart, you wanna buy a bag today? I’ll tell you what, you buy a bag and I’ll give you my number for free.
–33rd & Broadway
Man to teenage girls: Do you and your friends like to wrestle? I swear to god I could take you all.
–Times Square
Overheard by: yearbookie
Homie to friends: They say in the old days you couldn’t even holler at a woman cause she wouldn’t answer you.
–South Williamsburg
Overheard by: DanielXY
Homeless man to cute passerby: Nice knees.
–Central Park
Football player on razor scooter, chasing shirtless theater major: I'll get you my pretty… And your little dick too!
–Wagner College
Girl, looking at long ladies bathroom queue: At times like these, I wish women had dicks.
–Winter Garden Theatre
Slightly drunk man: I feel like someone just shut a door on my dick.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Sunny
Hooker to pimp: I had to suck his dick in front of everyone!
–Outside Penn Station
Overheard by: David
A DJ who has gotten too big for her britches finishes playing a Rubber Rodeo song.
Indie guy: Great song. So…you’ve got my info?
Miss DJ: Yes. I have your e-mail. We’ll be in touch.
Mr Bartender: If you’re going to be in touch with that boy, can I watch?
—Mondo, Bar 169
Hobo to girl in lifeguard shirt: You really a lifeguard? I’m drowning!
–7th & Ave A
Girl on cell with dog in her bag: So I was just like "You're a friggin douche!" (pauses and looks in bag) Fuck! My asshole dog just shit in my bag! (takes dog out) Oh my god! It shit in my lap! It's everywhere! Help me, Dana!
–D Train
Overheard by: Hahahahaaaaa
Passerby to young woman tying up about 10 dogs, singing: Who let the dogs out? Who?
–E 90th St
Six-year-old girl to mother: And then I said, "Oh, Shihtzu!"
–Houston & Orchard
Overheard by: j
Man on cell: I mean, I don't want to compare her to a dog. But, I just don't want to pet that, if you know what I mean.
–E 4th St & Lafayette
Overheard by: amanda
Large scruffy man in deli apron, watching hot Latina: Woof! (pause) Sorry baby, it's just the dog in me. Woof!
–2nd Ave & 94th St
Fat man to female friend: I don't know that dogs are delicious. Rather, I know that pork is.
–Broadway & Chambers St
Overheard by: Carolyn S
Girl, pointing at Dachshunds: Look, Chihuahuas!
–Winter Gardens
Drunk White guy: Do you think I’m a good looking guy?
Teen chick: No, you are ugly.
Drunk White guy: Tell me what is ugly about me. Is it the scars on my face? I used to be a fighter.
She leaves the subway car.
Drunk White guy: I’ve had plenty of pussy. Black, White, Spanish, Colombian–that was the best–young Hispanic, young White, one time this nice African-American girl Tiffany. We were really in love…
–6 train
Haggard 40-something guy to girl passing by: Mmm-hmmm! That's the way I like 'em. Tiny and nice and tight. Look at that body, damn. Mmm-hmm. Hey, girl! Hey, gorgeous, how old are you?
Annoyed girl: I'm 14.
Haggard #40-something guy: Damn! That'll get me 25 years… Damn!
–3rd St, Havemeyer
Overheard by: One of 8 who witnessed this
Man: So, what's your name?
Waitress: Jessica.
Man: Well, hello Jessica! I'm Brown.
Waitress: (nods head uninterested)
Man: Like the bear.
Waitress:(walks away)
–Bar, 34th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: MMM
Wasted guy: Hi.
Cute girl: Hi.
Wasted guy: What are you doing? You look hot bending over like that.
Girl: Um, well, I'm looking for my jacket.
Wasted guy: Huh! I have a better idea. (slight pause) Why don't you come home with me and sit on my face?
(long, long, shocked pause)
Girl: You know what… you find my jacket, and then we'll talk about it.
–Tin Lizzie, Upper East Side
Overheard by: tinajane
